Essence of Angel Cake

The rain poured down, dripping off my hair, running down my forehead, streaking makeup down my face, drenching me from head to toe. I thought about everything that had led me to this point. Sitting in the grass, I was unable to comprehend it all. I remembered running, crying, confused about everything that had happened to destroy me, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, collapsing on the grass. My tears became one with the rain.

“Hey, you’re about to hate my guts.”

“Why?”

“I want to break up.”

“What did I do this time?”

“Nothing. That’s the thing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Then why…?”

“I started having doubts, and we talked about it and it got better. I appreciate it.”

“But…”

“But when I was with you, I couldn’t stop thinking about how bad I felt, and I wasn’t enjoying it.”

“I didn’t even know I was upsetting you!”

“You were; you aren’t now. But I can’t get it out of my head.”

Thunder cracked loudly above my head. The lightning flashed, blinding my temporarily. I looked up into the sky as the pounding rain splashed all around me. The sky was a deep midnight blue; the moon was shining in the distance behind the tops of bare trees in the distance, making up thousands of twinkling lights on the blades of wet grass.

“You still there?”

“Maybe”

“I’m really sorry. I just wasn’t happy and haven't really been for a few weeks now.”

“Why couldn’t you talk in person?”

“Because I’m a piece of s**t, and I didn't know for sure I wanted to until after I left...”

“Or you didn't want to feel bad in person? You'd rather hide in your room?”

“Go ahead, be mad at me. I deserve it.”

“I’m not mad. I’m surprised. You’re the one who always says we need to talk things out.”

“I know.”

“Sorry I don't make you happy. Have a nice life. Find someone who does.”

I stood up from my huddle on the ground. Walking across the field, the thick mud squished between my toes " home. Nature, where I felt safe, surrounded me. I stopped walking and closed my eyes, tilting my head up to the skies. I spread my arms wide and breathed in the cool autumn air, sighing.

“Hey.”

“I tried.”

“I know. Thank you. I still want to be friends. I really do.”

“I want to be friends… Just not now.”

“I understand. Would you like to slap me in the face?”

“I’d love to. But I’m not going to.”

“I feel really bad.”

“Have a nice new year.”

The rain slowed to a light drizzle. I looked around me, in my field. Surrounding all sides was the thick forest. No one knew this hole was here. Through the long unruly grass, burnt tree stumps from a fire long ago could be seen. In the spring you could see clovers and small flowers sprouting out of the rich fertilizer the dead trees provided.

I took a long breath and fell backward into the muddy grass. I was lying there, unmoving, until the sun came up over the horizon, pushing out the clouds and drying the field.

I smiled. I would move on. The rain cleansed the ground of toxins, and my heart of pain. Today was a new day. The road to the future stretched out in front of me.

 

“I'd like to be friends... I guess you don't. Well...I'm here for you if you need anything.”

 

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Great story! The rain cleansing the earth and your tears cleansing your heart and soul of the disappointment and the hurt. However, arising like the phoenix, to fight and play another day. No matter the situation, good or bad, this, too, shall pass.