A Cut-Out; A Sea Turtle

A Story by Exa Lectric

Why? I thought to myself. The hours blurred by �" connecting the days together. A long string, tangled into an unrecognizable ball, was all I had to show for it. But, when you pick up the ball, it turns back into a long string, looping around your fingers up to your wrists. When I pick it up, the ball just gets more tangled and matted together, now it’s almost knit itself into a felt. But you, you can change all that.

As he held my hand, he watched my face, taking in all my features, memorizing my eyes. He loved my eyes. They were the path into my heart, and he knew that. He would stroke my face and kiss my lips. He would whisper his love so only I could hear. He was all I could ask for. But then as soon as I found him, he was gone. My best friend, my lover, was taken away from me.

God planned another future for him and me. It hurts, and I grieve, but we’ll be together again. It will be okay eventually. As much as I want to die too, I know I need to be here for him. He would want me to. To carry out my life, and then I’ll have an eternity to spend with him.

I don’t know why I bother to open my computer anymore. All I get is hate mail from all the lurking internet bullies. Sigh. It isn’t right. I never hurt them. Why is posting a picture of me and my best friend with a caption about his death reason to torment me? What did I do? Oh, that’s right; nothing. I haven’t hurt anyone; I have been hurt. And all these people just make it worse. Don’t they see what they’re doing? Do they not care? I began to type a comment on the picture. I don’t know why I bother; they wouldn’t listen if their lives depended on it.

If I said “f**k you a*****e” to you when you lost your best friend and were just trying to find closure, how would you feel? Think about it.

I closed my laptop and picked it up off the kitchen table. I walked out the screen door onto the porch, and down the steps. Without hesitation, I dropped it into the water and watched it sink. A smile spread across my face. He always said I didn’t think things through before doing them. Well, I guess I’ll need a new computer in the future. I laughed.

It felt good to laugh, even if I was laughing at something an imagined being spoke. I walked back up to the house. When I was back into my bedroom, I had a conclusion. I would go on. I would be happy. I would live like my friend was still here; he still is. Not physically, but he’s still here. Every piece of him is still here, spread through the memories. His promise was still unbroken.

I will always be with you, even when you don’t want me and when you don’t know how to get by, look inside yourself and find strength in me . . .

A single tear fell from my eye, running slowly out of the corner, flowing over my cheek, disappearing at the corner of my lips.

I love you.