The Hunter

I wrote this poem when i was going through a rough spot in my life. A bit later I read it, and thought you might too.

 

Tears run down my cheeks as darkness surrounds me

I reach with my hand, outward into what I can’t see

Finding something sharp and pointed inside my reach

I make a large gash, remembering the smells of a beach

 

The stench of fresh blood fills the air as I let out a scream

The Hunter lunges toward me, following his only dream

He licks away the pouring blood, more eager than before

The Hunter can’t resist me, for my blood is his and more

 

Soon enough I will run dry, what will he become?

He’ll move on to his next victim, he is not dumb

Resisting is something the Hunter cannot do

Once, the vampire is finished, then I will be too.

Author's Note

Does the last line fit in with the rest of the poem? or does it have a bit of a different rhythm?

Reviews

[Vox Machina]

I think the last line works better if you change it to:

"Resisting is something that the Hunter can't do
Once, the vampire is finished, then I will be too."

Also in line 8 I think you mean "My blood is his galore" rather than ""My blood is in his galore"", you could also try, "my blood is his and more"

Good poem, though. Creepy.

[Hotaru Miyuki]

i love this! the last line is perfect! i love how it describes james killing bella. i actually understood it also!

[Jeremiah Medina]

I really like this, the disturbing feel of being hunted, in the perspective of the victim the question, whats it like to be hunted, is answered here perfectly. as for the last line hmm...Resisting is something, the hunter can not do, Once this vampires finished, I will be too... A very interesting poem, and a pleasure to read.

[Wildecat]

I love this poem and yes the last line fits in perfectly, a great write.