nightmare

breaking free from the memory of someone who brought you down

just becuase your breathing doesnt mean your living

standing there with a heart beat, but not really feeling

surrounded by a sea of people but you still feel alone

going through weeks of darkness never tasting the sun

 

stuck in a windowless cage

too weak to break free, heavy chains cutting far too deep

your throat hurt from too much screaming

 

but then you open your eyes

  the sun shining, blinding

you smile

you realize it was just a memory a sick, cold, old reality

so gones its more like a dream

 a nightmare

 

 

Author's Note

please tell me what you think....i dont care if you think its horriable(if it is tell me why)

Reviews

[SlimBizkit]

It's good! It holds a lot of symbolism with how someone or something can you take you away from something horrible. I liked it, great writing. The bold faces give impact and emphasis appropriately. ;)

[crystallized illusions]

In all honesty, this is great, while it's spooky and has darkness to it, it is very emotional. I can relate to this, terribly.. You're a great writer. It seems to me that you put the emotions of those who have lost someone dear into something clear. Almost like music.
Great, deep, emotional, dark; they're all terribly easy words. I don't know, it's very hard to find precise words in ze English language.

[TurtleClark]

Write More Please

[The They]

I love this poem and must have seen through my eyes what you've seen (and captured here) through yours. Working in office buildings, factories or even cubicles completely desensitizes us to nature, ourselves and others around us. This numbing process leaves us too weak to break out of our ways of thinking and existing so that we just continue on our nightmarish way. I love the last stanza of your poem because it provides the true solution to all this mess! great write!

P.S. I think your stanzas are fine.

[Melinda Weber]

I love the idea of this poem, but you really should break it up into stanzas. So it has a flow, taking you in levels through the poem as you read it. Great practice piece :)