the crush

just something i wrote bout a old love please feel free to review it.

    as our eyes meet my heart pounds

     yet you don't even know how you affect me so

      for you're with her 

       and your smile that once made my heart sing

        scourers it with pain 

         for you are not smiling for me but for her

          yet I cant hate someone who makes you feel as I once felt for you 

           so let this come to a end as I gather my broken heart            

            and continue on my journey 

Author's Note

Please review this weather you liked it or not and tell em what you think so i can better my works in the future thanks.

Reviews

[Titan]

This poem is quite stellar in summarizing the feelings of many people who must move on from crushing on someone they know they cannot have. I have experienced this several times. Good job, one spelling mistake though. Third line: "your" should be "you're"

[Da devin]

Hmmm.... Crush has something to do bout pain and love. I felt the same way before,and hey hope u hv gotten over the CRUSH???lol.. This is nice, simple and easy to understand.

[I Am Svetlana]

Very nice! I've felt this once about a guy, I've liked a guy who wasn't mine...but I wished he was.

[alesuriko]

Nicely done. So many people of all ages, nationalities, and gender can relate to this and the way you wrote it definitely allows people to connect more easily. It's simple and emotional. I also enjoyed the fact that you didn't capitalize the beginning of every line like most poetry. It adds to the poem in a way that I can't describe right now haha (probably because I'm overly sleep deprived).

Awesome - - -
I like the flow of this - and the story it tells.