Damned Both Ways

I wrote this to get a relief from what I've been feeling.

on the table lies a bottle of wine
accompanied by jealous unread books longing for your caress
they have been abandoned, so has your career
you pour some wine into your vintage cocktail glass -- a birthday present you bought for yourself last year, when no one delivered a birthday wish let alone a gift.
you take one sip after blowing your smoke
then you realize, every sip that you take goes vapid and the last sipping disappoints you.
you stick to that moment, traveling to your past since you are quite familiar with this feeling.
It was years back -- you felt the exact same disappointment.
It was when the last time that razor slit your arm deeper than your previous attempt.
***
Maybe nothing can compete your pain. Nothing can represent your disappointment for yourself -- it becomes a constant pity
And all of these misadventures unite into a colossal grief
You are both the victim and the executor -- the judge and the defendant -- damned both ways.

Author's Note

tell me what you think. Help me improve 🙏

Reviews

[emmajoy]

This has so much running through it! You phrase so well yet sometimes a little haphazardly but - there is such a story running along, your poem is loaded with brilliant potential. Would like to come back later, read again, as if for the first time.. then, leave a better and fuller review. :)