Art

about a girl who's less than a god, but more than a human...

I wish I were conscious in ’95.

Maybe then would I have realised

Her presence before me.

Now she’s omnipresent,

But I wish she was omniscient too.

Then she could know how I feel.

That I remember just a glimpse.

Just a glimpse,

And my heart is entangled in vocal chords

As it leaps out of my chest.

I feel like I know her, the current Her

In spite of not saying a word.

Her eyes shared the gospel.

 

I’ve imagined several instances.

Occurences, mishaps, accidents and incidents

That could initiate a conversation.

But I’m so terrified of you.

I know I can bear the pain

Of unrequited love.

But life reminds me that I forget and underestimate.

Therefore,

Don’t kill me by saying you don’t know me.

Don’t tell me your not interested, and

Don’t let these tears that stain my face

Be in vain, you, the most beautiful work of Art.

 

Reviews

[Dani California]

Oh this is a beauty. Wow...

"I've imagined several instances.
Occurences, mishaps, accidents and incidents
That could initiate a conversation.
But I'm so terrified of you.
I know I can bear the pain
Of unrequited love..."

Pure vulnerability. So terrifyingly exciting...
it keeps our hearts beating, yet holds the power
to destroy us.

Beautiful bittersweet poem! Going into my favs...

[Anima Inspired]

Very sad...well, more tragic than sad, really. I could feel the depth of emotion in this one, and it was delightful. I love the way that you bring together the elements of art and love, and the passion of the human heart. There were some areas where the flow seemed a little tough, but I think that could be fixed through small changes in wording...for instance:

Maybe then would I have realised

---I know that "would I have" sounds more "artistic", but the brain processes it at first glance as "I would have" and then I had to look back at it a couple times to get myself to see the real wording.

Anyway...overall, very nicely done!

[Liam]

This is my favourite of yours so far. Man! You're brilliant.

[JohnL]

The style of this is wonderful - it bridges time. '95 could easily have been 1895, the painting, Impressionist, or 1995, the painting Modernist. And back further - a cave wall perhaps? How many beautiful women have gazed from paintings to the chagrin of men who appreciate beauty. Maja (Goya) Venus (Botticelli and others), Odalisque, Olympia - - Ingres, Manet, Renoir aand his Boating Party and I reckon we've all fallen for one of them. The ageless and thoroughly decent eroticism of art has at some time claimed us all! Your poem puts this so clearly and with flow and rhythm which do the subject justice.
Keep looking, she may turn up!
John

[☮]

Wow... she's gone... now she's everywhere and you wish she was telepathic, so she could know your thoughts? That's deep, man. You have unique style of poetry that's powerfully descriptive. Everyone knows that woman that's not a god but is definitely superhuman. Nice!

[Emily B]

Words left unsaid too long. Bittersweet.

[Komichi]

"Don't kill me by saying you don't know me.

Don't tell me your not interested, and

Don't let these tears that stain my face"

These three lines, perhaps, She was saying that silently in '95. A beautiful poem.

[Matalia Riordan]

This was exquisite. People are in themselves works of art and this piece portrayed that beautifully. There are things that are so beautiful they hurt and I felt that through your words. Beautiful poem.


Matalia

[WV_Poetess]

Even at my point in life unrequited love is painful. I enjoyed this poem very much.