The hallway before the door

Memories of a life

Like the beatings from the nuns, I do not remember the infraction, when my father struck me with closed fist. I turned and rolled with the blow, striking my head against a hallway’s wall. He disappeared, no follow up. My head cleared to the fear that I feared with that man in my life. I feared that man most my life, then I pitied him. Now I feel like him. His death was a relief. I should be released.

Oh forgive my trespasses and those who trespassed against me.

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

albee?

Most poignant thoughts set to pen of page, here, bravely before a world of readers.

I am not into Religion, but I do understand the concept of forgiveness as an inner means to heal oneself and cease holding wrong doers hostage of things that can never be undone.

In my life, growing up, 'twas not my father, but my mother. She had a knack for looking you right in the eyes, discerning any inkling of rebellion or desire to talk back, and respond with a whooshing backhand that you never saw coming, to leave you flat upon your back on the floor, wondering what the hell did I do to deserve that, though you did know what you had been thinking, that she saw in your eyes and in your body's language ... LOL! A little woman, not to be under estimated by any means ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[albee]

The trespass quote comes from an ancient anthology bound in a book. A book that became a deity to many. All the Sapien religions attempt to cool the cycles of affronts hateful traumas, and revenge. Revenge can be toxic iron bound whirlpools, in the mind.

[Betty Hermelee]

So sorry for your traumatic upbringing Albee; I am reading now about the author Pat Conroy's beating father...angry and could not show love... strangely, they sort of came to an understanding near the end of father's life...but his and your childhood seem tortuous.....I 'm happy for you now that you found relief.... a very poignant and honest poem
Warmly, B

[Kane Hagwood]

Straight from the heart, I see. I've found that the people who once harmed us most in your young lives tend to be those we pity as grown adults. Although I don't personally feel it would be a good idea to "forget and move on," perhaps counseling is an option on the table. It never was, nor ever will be, your responsibility to carry the burdens of your abusers. The most important thing we can do is heal ourselves and learn that isn't how we treat others. We use it an an example of what not to be rather than allow it to consume us.

Far easier said than done, I know. You'll get there though, in time, and with patience with yourself.

Thank you for sharing this, even if it might have been difficult to write. Your voice matters, and always has. Keep doing what you love; keep expressing yourself in whatever creative veins speak most to you. Follow your healing, friend, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your bright future.