Hotel Room

I don't know what inspired this...

Your poems live inside me.
They ebb and flow like the tide.
Turning my every thought to you.
I see my name on every page you write.
Maybe its not supposed to be my name on your lips.
But I imagine it there anyway.
I imagine me in your hotel room.
Fending off your loneliness and pain.
I see me kissing you.
Touching you,
in ways that only a lonely  hotel room can accommodate.
The silence waits for you,
to make or break it.
While I wait for you to make or break me.
Loving you. Wanting you.
In your lonely old  hotel room.
 

Reviews

[gravitylava]

Nice, I like this. It's short and simple but still says a lot. I like emotion you put into this. Good write.
-michelle

[Christel Grady]

This is a deeply sensual piece, brimming with metaphors and illusions. Great work!

A couple of minor errors. Take it or leave it.
Apostrophe is "it's", denoting possession.
"I imagine me in your hotel room. " - I would change me to myself. Same with line 9.
A couple of minor spacing issues between words.
Comma after "lonely" - "In your lonely old hotel room."

[Farrah Grahm]

It paints a picture of a desperate woman waiting on a hotel bed for someone who doesn't seem to reciprocate her desire.
I think it has great flow. Good gob overall

[Bexers]

This was very beautiful.
Speaker (you) just sounds over all lonely right now, can't figure out if it was just for writing or because there is a back story to it. Either way, it was a very good read.

(:

[Cece]

you inspiring loneliness
as i always feel that love
that love that hurts

why does love always hurt
being loneliness with it
i imagine being with you

i imagine your eyes
they looking at me
but i open my eyes

only thing i see
my eyes sees the dirty
old hotel room lonely