in your arms

in your arms

A Poem by ~amanda~

 You asked me once,

If I could let you go.

And I said yes.

Hoping you would come back,

Because I made myself,

Into the perfect woman for you.

 

I shaved away little pieces of me,

So I could fit into your arms.

And now im left with this stranger,

Who is me.

But I hardly know myself at all.

 


© 2012 ~amanda~


Author's Note

~amanda~
work in progress... im completely open to suggestions... =)

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Featured Review

"I shaved away little pieces of me,
So I could fit into your arms.
And now im left with this stranger,"

I love these lines right here, I think your write is perfect the way it is, you add anymnore it would take away from the view point of your poem, I think it's wonderful the way it is. Well written...Kim



Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This piece is built .... with a natural spontaneous flow ... in a heartfelt manner .. also the emotions came up from the lost love or the longing for yr desired one & the metaphoric usage of poetry also implies poems sometimes can be such a transcending way to communicate - which you portrayed nicely ... Well written.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

One suggest,has nothing to do with the poem or your talent, the print is so small, I had to strain my eyes to read it.

The words so eloquently expressed how we become lost in the love and desire of another. Then one day wake up and find ourselve lost.

You did an excellent job of expressing this feeling of giving so much of ouselves to another, and the feeling of not being appriciated.

Well written.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 3 people found this review constructive.

These words are so meaningful .. you've written them beautifully, Amanda.

'I shaved away little pieces of me, / So I could fit into your arms. / And now im left with this stranger, / Who is me. /But I hardly know myself at all.'

Your second stanza is perfectly constructed, the emotion behind the words is expressed with such deep sincerity and honesty.

Thank you for sharing you as well as your words.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 7, 2008
Last Updated on March 7, 2012

Author

~amanda~
~amanda~

Hollywood, CA



About
i hate filling these things in... i end up deleting everything i write and then trying for a ridiculously long amount of time to compensate for it... my name is amanda. i am a capricorn. i .. more..

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