in your arms

 You asked me once,

If I could let you go.

And I said yes.

Hoping you would come back,

Because I made myself,

Into the perfect woman for you.

 

I shaved away little pieces of me,

So I could fit into your arms.

And now im left with this stranger,

Who is me.

But I hardly know myself at all.

 

Author's Note

work in progress... im completely open to suggestions... =)

Reviews

[darkgurl]

"I shaved away little pieces of me,
So I could fit into your arms.
And now im left with this stranger,"

I love these lines right here, I think your write is perfect the way it is, you add anymnore it would take away from the view point of your poem, I think it's wonderful the way it is. Well written...Kim

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Yeah the print is small and a bit hard to read... as for the poem itself you expressed the feeling many do when a relationship ends... I believe we should never mold ourselves for another, they should always love you for who you are... then after things fall you are as you said left with a person in the mirror you don't recognize.

[FRANK]

I like this, Amanda. It is too bad that you lost so much of yourself through loving this person, leaving yourself with a stranger from within. Changing yourself dramatically to be with someone is never good. A woman told me once that she did that for me, and it devistated me. I never wanted her to be anything different than who she truly was. Yet, she felt that I did, so she changed herself to be with me. I regret that to this day. I hate myself for whatever I did to make her feel that she had to be someone other than herself.

Don't be anyone other than who you are for anyone. If you do, you will be lying to both him and yourself.

Dirk

[MAC]

i adore diary poetry. it just opens your heart up to strangers that are willing to love your words and hug you with their thoughts. this is perfect as is. the style fits you well and the words are nothing short of an extention of your soul. beautiful. sincerely.mark

[Poets Soul]

This was a deep emotional piece. So many times we try to change who we are for others, when true love excepts us for who we really are. Wonderful write....

[bluessadmood]

oh yes this seems to be written with lots of feelings,you did everything to fit in his arms ,in his life ,you changed just for him you gave your poetry and left with nothing ,you dont know even who you are any more,what great love i hope he is worthy of it ,lucky guy ,i wish i was him ,ha ha,,i just loved these lines...
I shaved away little pieces of me,
So I could fit into your arms.
And now im left with this stranger,
Who is me.
great ,really wonderful so dreamy and touching,you must have been in great mood when you wrote this

[John Stussy]

Seems quite complete to me, the open-feeling ending adds to the sense of something missing. Were this poem to have a feeling of finality to it, it would detract from the theme, the feel of the words you wrote. Keep it the way it is, works fine this way.

[Poetic Injustice]

It certainly seems to describe what many of us feel when we attempt to adapt for someone else's sake. Mutuality is a rare but wonderous thing. Write on.

[poetforlife]

What beautiful, sad poetic words to describe how we all get lost trying to be the "it" for someone else. We do lose ourselves in the process. But I think that to some degree to make a relationship work, we DO have to gice up part of us and change things to fit into the life of another person. As long as they do the same, it works. Otherwise, we feel we are the ones giving up all of who we are. You did a great job making our minds and hearts visit this issue. Thanks for sharing. Good work!

[Arthur Henn]

Amanda, the title is perfect.

Don't change anything. I was smiling and admired every word here.

As Emma already said. The second stanza blossomed this poem. A beginning, A middle, and an end. Very well written. I'm sending this as a favorite into my library.

Art