this is how it ends

unrequited love poems (are there any other kind?)

  When I think about you,

I can't recall the good times.

Although I'm sure we had a few. 


I can only remember

you looking at me, and then,

"For once, let's do the right thing". 
And we never talked again. 



It was the right thing to do.




I cleaned my room the other day,

And stumbled upon your flowers.

Those ugly neon daisies you brought me,

On that rainy January day. 



I threw them away

And never looked at them again.

Like we never loved at all.




 

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

There is something to be said about the length of this piece, and that something to be said is something good. I have seen where works touching on this topic appear to drag on for days, a torture to read that leaves me wishing for that time back. This though, in the length, offers some additional - perhaps subtle - meaning to the piece. If the gentleman in question only left you with the memory of him saying the right thing was to skadoodle, then the gentleman in question was a total d****e. Finding the flowers and tossing them, doing the right thing; so many people might have held on to them - a bitter mistake. A painful memory to be true, but not a memory that you are going to let own you. The length, in my most likely not at all humble opinion, was the right thing.

[Aria]

At first, this seemed to be quite simple and typical, in terms of theme and what the reader would expect in the ending. But, as I kept reading, it got better, and once I finished reading, I felt awful. But that's good. :) You were able to throw me a curve and it hit. The last two lines hit the hardests. Good work.

[ape domenigoni]

I like this poem...good writing!

[Lee E. Powell]

I absolutly loved this piece. Especially the beginning and the end.

"I threw them away
And never looked at them again.
Like we never loved at all.



It was the right thing to do."

This part was just wow.

I have to agree with Titus on the word stupid though. If the word stupid was meant to convey something like bitterness, then how about just using the word "bitter"? just a thought...

"And stumbled upon your flowers.
The bitter daisies you brought me" ...I don't know, maybe not. I'm not a poet LOL!

[Titus McGuire]

I'll start by saying that this poem has great potential; it began well, it ended well. Now, with that being said, I'd like to state that somewhere in the middle, something just seem to throw off the flow and beauty for me, but only for a moment. The opening three lines

'When I think about you,
I can't recall the good times.
Although I'm sure we had a few. '

were extremely well written, and my favourite part of the poem. I feel it is something a lot of people can relate to, especially those who have been rejected or turned away by a lover only to look back over time with bitterness. One can't deny there were good times, for without them there would never have been those feelings, but it is difficult to see that in the end.

'I can only remember you telling me
"For once, let's do the right thing". 

And we never talked again.'

This also speaks volumes; a love denied, perhaps it was an affair, but the emotions were still there, and it further emphasizes 'I can't recall the good times'. The focal point of the relationship has become the ending, and that is what has led to the feelings of bitterness.

'I cleaned my room the other day,
And stumbled upon your flowers.
The stupid daisies you brought me,
On that rainy January day.'

It is in this area where I feel the flow and words move away from the beauty it had. I do like your choice of words, save for 'stupid'; I feel this throws off the entire piece. I know it was meant to express bitterness, but I feel it takes away from the poem. This is just my opinion.

I do like the concept of cleaning the room and stumbling across the flowers, that, to me, is symbolic of one going through their memory and discarding those memories they care not to remember, especially when considering the following lines:

'I threw them away
And never looked at them again.
Like we never loved at all.'

The love was over, and the time spent dwelling upon it. Some things are better to forget, and this was one of those experiences, and I like how it ends with 'It was the right thing to do', for I felt this line recognizes and emphasizes that it was done, it had been a mistake but I'm moving on. I like that.

Overall, save for the word 'stupid', I felt this was a great poem, and the emotions were conveyed well.

[S.J.Floreen]

I like how the right thing to do changes from the wrong thing that was done to the throwing away of the flowers.

[Isolophobe]

Well written poem, i must say. I sort of wished it would have been longer, but it works as long as it already is.

[Too Me]

You express your emotions very well, and I am touched as I feel the words written. I thought the ending was perfect
" I threw them away
And never looked at them again.
Like we never loved at all.



It was the right thing to do."
* Lana *

[RAZZLE DAZZLE]

This poem is really good. It's like you never really even liked the person, and are moving on. It's great!

[Catastrophe]

damn! so much emotion right there...this heart of mine
can relate...
i should say; i love the way you have written this poem. Just by looking at the words themselves
already; there's so much impact, nice...very nice!