The curious incident of the cows and the sheepA Story by alanwgraham An ordinary day becomes extraordinary. The curious incident of the cows and the sheep
It seemed to be just another ordinary day but a seemingly random observation turned out to have ‘ram’ifications that would ‘steer’ my world view in a radical new direction.
Before giving you time to think that I’ve gone stark
raving bonkers I’ll tell you straight out what I saw. We were driving a short
distance through the countryside to visit our son and family. I happened to
look at the grassy field on my right and noticed a number of cows and sheep, around
twenty of each. What caught my attention was that the cows were all standing in
a group facing the same way while the sheep were in another group all lying
down. In the next field I was rather surprised to see more cattle and sheep but
this time the sheep were all standing facing the same way with the cattle lying
down. Further along the road I recounted this apparently bizarre fact to my wife. ‘Don’t be ridiculous Alan! Is this another of your weird stories?’ ‘No, no, Mary. I can prove it.’ I turned the car and in a minute we had passed the fields. Thankfully the cows and sheep were kind enough to support what I thought I’d seen. ‘An apology please darling!’ Mary just laughed. ‘I must admit that’s a bit weird but there must be some explanation.’
So, there it is! You probably thought that I’d imagined it (as I had half thought myself) but the observation was checked and verified. We continued on to our son’s and in the pleasure of playing with our toddler grandson Leo I completely forgot about it. A few weeks later I was watching the ‘Shaun the
Sheep’ movie (SUPERB!) with little Leo and the cow/sheep scenario came back to
me. There must be a simple explanation I thought and I started gnawing away at
the conundrum. With my scientific training I knew I would have to use the the
scientific method of observation leading to a hypothesis and theory proved by
experiment. I soon realised that I would have to get out into the world of sheep and cows to find out what was actually going on. ‘Some field work!’ I laughed to myself. So I purchased a pair of wellies (rubber boots) and sallied forth. ‘Where on earth are you off to?’ Mary spotted me skulking out of the door. ‘Don’t even ask,’ I grimaced, ‘I’ll be back by sundown.’ Luckily I didn't have time to see that - 'oh God, not again' - look on Mary's face. Intensive conversation with my best pal google had revealed several lines of possible enquiry but the conclusions were a bit ‘woolly.’ A commonly held belief was that the animals all faced downwind. Some thought there was a lead animal that the others followed. Others held that they had some kind of magnetic sense and they faced North-South - but would Muslim cows face Mecca? The explanation that I favoured myself was that sheep/cows are prey animals and by facing downwind they can see the predator ahead and smell it coming from behind.
My field work had its ups and downs. On the first day I had to make a visit to the doc’ for a tetanus injection after a bad experience on a barbed wire fence. The embarrassing bit was that two old ladies passing by had to extricate me! The next day I encountered another damn fence with no warning signs that it was electrified - my screams scared the animals away! The following day I was mortified to be reported by some children for ‘behaving suspiciously around sheep.’ Explaining my motives and movements to a (lady) police constable I felt humiliated as she regarded me with a sceptical look - and I stank of sheep’s piss! Then I remember the bizarre story of a man that had been researching the behaviour of alpine goats and had decided to live with them even to the extent of bounding about on all fours and eating grass. I decided to give it a try and bought an uncured sheepskin. Apart from the smell I felt I was getting into the mind-set of my woolly companions and thought I was on the brink of eureka when a ram tried to mate with me - vigorously! My attempts at baa baa’s had obviously given him the come-on. Chastened, I decided to take a more observational approach and cycled from field to field observing the flocks and herds from afar. I made copious measurements of wind direction, the alignment of flocks with my compass, the position of the sun, the direction of the slope and finally took photographs of the cows and sheep. Of course what I really needed were fields with mixed cattle and sheep and these were few and far between. I slept on it. Nothing materialised but the next night I woke up with an idea - it was obvious. I would have to prove my theory by doing a controlled experiment. Call me mad but that very same day I approached a local farmer and attempted to hire two fields and around a score each of cows and sheep. He said, ‘you must be ‘baa baa barking mad!’ and sent me packing with his guffaws ringing in my ears. The second farmer chased me with a shotgun??? Shouts of, ‘I know your kind!’ rang in my ears. The third farmer agreed to a suitable and outrageous price. The next day, the two fields were set up, each with a mixed cohort of cows and sheep. The full panoply of remote recording equipment was discretely positioned along with video cameras. My excitement could hardly be contained but four days later my four legged friends had shown nothing out of the ordinary. At times they either stood together or lay down together but nothing approached what I had seen. There was no discernible pattern in their behaviour. I guess that you are beginning to wonder where this tale is going. Had I witnessed a truly unique occurrence? The whole thing was driving me nuts so I thought I’d take the evening off and chill out watching TV.
When the news came on, the first item was about the long running Brexit issue. Opinions had become entrenched. All rational thought seemed to have stopped as the debate dragged on. I watched footage of a ‘remain’ march to a public park. In one section I could see groups of men standing facing the stage with the women sitting on the grass drinking Bucks Fizz. Nearby the women were standing holding placards and cheering. The men there all lay on the grass asleep. I’d seen the same sort of news items interminably over the past three years and started to doze off. Then a big light bulb flashed on in my head and I sat bolt upright. Instead of seeing men and women gathered at the park I saw my sheep and cows. I shouted to Mary, ‘I’ve got it! I’ve got it!’ The next morning Mary appeared at the door with a stranger. ‘Who’s this Mary?’ I asked.’ ‘Just relax Alan. This is Doctor Lamb. We have been a bit worried about how you have been behaving.’ © 2019 alanwgrahamFeatured Review
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11 Reviews  Last Updated on December 30, 2019 Author
alanwgrahamScotland, United KingdomAboutMarried with three kids, I retired early from teaching physics but have always enjoyed mountains. In my forties I experienced a manic episode which kick-started a creative urge. I've written a novel .. more..Writing
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