Look before you leap!

A dimEric!

Look before you leap!

I once knew a rascal from Leeds

Who did some unspeakable deeds

I'll not be explicit

I can't say they're licit

But at least they satisfied needs

Note - no animals or children suffered in this limerick

I once met a girl from Tiree

she was rather attracted to me

but I had to change tack

when we got in the sack

and discovered that she was a he!

I'm beginning to think that I'm just

a brief step or two from being dust

it's time for some fun

'fore I pick up the gun

there might be some time left for lust

on Tiree I met a young fellow

I thought that he looked rather mellow

but I got quite a shock

when he started to talk

and she told me her name was Flo

I once knew a fellow from Troon

who used to drink beer from a spoon

but one thing he missed

was getting quite pissed

so I told him that he was a goon

I wish I could stop writing rhymes

I've attempted multiple times

but they keep slipping out

of that there's no doubt

f*** this, I'm off for lunch

woo hoo - freedom!

rhyming's a thing of the past

how long do you think it will la...

gee - that was a close one

I'm sure that you're very impressed

how my battle with rhyming's progressed

it's just like a drug

I feel such a mug

you can see that I just have regressed

Reviews

[Lisasview]

I once met a man from Spain
who made his request quite plain
I said bug off
so he left in a huff
and. thats when I jumped on the train

First time ever trying a limerick...so please bear with me..
Yours were so wonderful...and inspired me.
Lisa, now in Spain

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for your kind words Lisa. Limericks are fun and you can have a laugh in just a few lines.
read moreThanks for your kind words Lisa. Limericks are fun and you can have a laugh in just a few lines.
Take care,
Alan

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for reading these Jacob. You probably know that this addiction to rhyming is one symptom of bipolar in some. (and at least one notable other rhymer in the cafe)
Regards.
Alan

[jacob erin-cilberto]

some times rhyme just compels us to use it...
this is a fun read....a cross between "Lola" and "Take a Walk on the Wild Side"

dodododododododododo

love the swerve away from the rhyme and then back to it...like it's a security blanket...
(sorry Linus)---
good work.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I used to know Alan from Fife
who had such a wonderful life
he spent all his time
just penning rhyme
or making hot love to my wife!

Loved the first stanza, really cracked me up and set me in train for another jaunt through your word associative thinking. Such a nice diversion to take I must say! Right cheered the day.

[alanwgraham]

Ta John.
Once i get started on limericks it's a bit like drinking Guinness. I haven't been away from WC just lurking until inspiration returns. We are going to Kelburn festival at largs this WE which will be great.
HOPE ALL WELL.
ALAN

[barleygirl]

OH MY GAWD! I recognize myself in your poem! My rhyming addiction goes exactly like this! I feel I've really become more "like other normal writers" whenever I manage to squeeze off a little free verse once in a while. But I always go back to my rhyming addiction. I love limericks, which are a special kind of rhyme, so satisfying. Only Norman does a rash of limericks now & then. He just had a heart valve repaired in London on Monday, all turned out better than expected. Anyhow, back to your poem . . . This is YOU at your finest! I can feel your OCD rigidity running right alongside your fun-loving free-flowing nature (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[alanwgraham]

Ta Margie. I'm trying hard to get these damn rhymes out of my head. I've been editing my collection of short stories and looking forward to getting them printed so not much time for writing. Looking forward to getting back to it.
Take care,
Alan

[Neville]

I once met an Alan from Fife
who thought I was somebody's wife
So I showed him my chopper
He said sheesh wot a whopper
And eventually we both got spliced
That's a joke folks innit Alan mate........... Look Before ya Leap made me chuckle... cheers.

Neville

[alanwgraham]

I'm amazed how often I get a limerick in reply. Yours is great. I'm glad you added the disclaimer!read moreI'm amazed how often I get a limerick in reply. Yours is great. I'm glad you added the disclaimer!
Cheers,
Alan

[Neville]

Yeah.. me too.. Have a great weekend Alan.. N

[Chris Shaw]

Your stanzas are great fun Alan and you know for sure how much I love rhyme. I would say though, you have to be careful these days when dating. You might not get what you expected. Have a happy day.

Chris

[alanwgraham]

Great advice Chris. Thanks for reading this nonsense.
Alan

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome Alan, and it is not nonsense :)

[kitty]

Keep it going me lad, the verses are far from bad. With a smile on my face you've flavoured my taste: i am set for a happier day now!

[alanwgraham]

I like it kitty. Perhaps - my day will be far from sad! My stories are often serious so these are light relief.
All the best.
Alan

[kitty]

Have a 'Smiley, happy day'!

[Samuel Dickens]

This is a funny one, Alan. The confusing of genders is something a few of my old sailor friends probably still have nightmares over. As for the rhymes, I think they're just fine!