Knees

A young woman is severely tested on her first day at work!

Knees

 

I arrived early and was directed to the mother superiors study. The girls queuing at the door were looking as anxious as I felt. They didn’t look much younger than me but after all I’d only just stopped paying half fares on the buses.

I told the last in line, a skinny, dark haired girl, that I’d an appointment to see the Mother Superior.

“Wait your turn. Stand behind me.”

“But …”

“Just wait!”

“But .. .”

“Sh ..   we’re not allowed to talk.”

“But .. .”

Her terrified look towards the door silenced me.

 

Inside, Mother superior had dealt with another of her charges. The girl left in tears.

“Next!  Next!”

Another girl appeared quaking before her.

“On your knees!”  The Mother superior's x-ray glare penetrated her soul and found sin lurking.

“Confess your sins girl!”

The poor girl had been too afraid to sin but knew what the Mother superior expected.

“I stole biscuits from the kitchen and had impure thoughts.”

“You wretched girl - 10 Hail Mary’s and no supper for you this week.”

“Go.”

“Next.”

“On your knees, you sinful girl - confess.”

“I smoked three cigarettes and said some bad words.”

Say twenty Hail Mary’s and wash out your mouth with this soap.

This miserable outpouring of real and imagined minor sins continued until only the visitor was left outside.

 

Behind the door I waited bemused until I was on my own.

“Next!”

I realised it was me!

Inside, my mouth fell open, my heart skipped a beat.  'Attilla the nun' gloured at me with a glare designed to stop your heart beating and a letterbox gape of a mouth designed only for the delivery of bad news.

“I’ve -  I’ve -   . My mind went blank. My tongue struck dumb.

“Down on your knees.”

I fell to my knees.

 “You trollop!” she erupted. “Get that devil’s paint off your face. You know why you’re here!”

“I’ve  ….  I’ve come  to…”

 She slapped me hard.

“Lost your tongue?  You’ve come to confess.”

At last I found my tongue.

 

“I’ve come from social services. I’m here to do an inspection of the home. There have been complaints!”

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I like the way you told this story with a steady build-up and dialogue that sounds realistic for such a situation. Since this is far from my life experience, I'm only guessing it must ring with authenticity, since your other reviewers got sucked into the story and really enjoyed the twist at the end. Being more of a literal type, I just couldn't imagine an inspector falling in line, quaking like the others, & then taking a few slaps before finally stating her purpose. The twist, altho cleverly crafted in your story, kinda stretched my belief further than it was likely to go.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks again, It is much more meaningful to get genuine reviews such as this which allow you to reflect on what you have done. I agree that this scenario is unlikely. I haven't really thought about it too deeply but I suppose that I've taken a bit of artistic licence with the unexpected conclusion.
Cheers,
Alan

[Mary]

HAHAHAHA! Need a good chuckle today, and you have come through with flying colors! Well done, friend!

[forgotten_ghosts]

I didn't see the end coming. Awesome, I laughed really hard! Very funny story!

[alanwgraham]

Thanks! I enjoyed doing this one - sometimes you just get in the groove!
Alan

[Philip Muls]

There have been complaints!

Great story, funny and clever.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks. At the writing group I go to we were given knees as a prompt. My mind always goes blank but I got the idea of praying and religion and when I got started it seemed to write itself. It is a mysterious business! I look forward to checking out your own writing.
Alan

[Shannon]

Oh, my. Great fast paced story. And what an ending!

Might be more of a surprise if "my first visit" where not included I the introduction, perhaps.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for your review, Your suggestion is absolutely right! I don't know why i didn't see it.
Thanks, Alan