A Muse on Princes Street

A walk along the famous Princes street in Edinburgh - a mix of history, humour and social comment!

A Muse on Princes Street

 

Arrived into Waverley     (Waverley railway station)

All sparkly and glittery

The soot's all awa'            (awa-away)

It’s now looking braw       (braw-fine)

As befits Auld Reekie,       (Auld Reekie -Edinburgh)

I’m here fur a keek     (keek-look)

along Princes Street

 

No more struggling up the

windswept Waverley steps

We’re now all wheeched         (wheech-whizz)

mechanically escalated 

right out of the station

to the heart of our nation

 

There’s a fancy building across the street

Called Register house

Where our names will get registered

When our maker we meet

 

On this side the Balmoral      (Balmoral hotel)

Formerly known as the North British

too grand for the likes of you or me,

but we’ll just manage a wee cup of tea!

 

(and I’ve just recalled,

if you want, you can ask it

My pal fell asleep in a laundry basket

after a rugby match!)

he was pissed

but not missed!

 

I’m now at the east

(gie cold on a windy day!)     (gie - very)

end of Princes street

A line drawn in history

between new toon and old

But what are these rails sunk in the street?

I fear the plan made many greet      (greet-cry)

To think about the muckle cost      (muckle -huge)

To bring back trams that once were lost

 

Up there, the auld town

above where the North Loch

stunk to high heaven

and climbs from palace to castle

Once lined with crumbling tenements,

Now gentrified, too, too, posh

Wi pubs and tartan and fancy nosh    (nosh - food)

The streets once ran with piss and poo

but there’s no more cries o’ gardyloo 

(gardyloo-a warning cry to those below!)

 

A wee walk on, the tourists throng

A piper plays a highland song

Their photies taken for a price

The Japanese are awfie nice!    (awfie-nice)

 

Now here’s a muckle tower o’ stone  (muckle-huge)

Beneath, Sir Walter on his throne

Great Scott - he once wrote something novel

Was Abottsford his border hovel?

 

The gardens run along the street

With seats where people come to eat

There’s statues many of folk long dead

And starving seagulls there to feed

 

At festival time a’ thing goes bonkers

Wi’ idjits dressed up, a’ kind o’ plonkers     

(idjits-idiots  plonkers-fools)

trying to tell jokes that aren't too funny

trying to get hold of your hard earned money

 

Further along, there’s two temples to the arts

And they’re not just a place for boring auld farts

There’s works of distinction for everyone to see

And the best of it is they’re both bloody free!

When you walk past the shops

The pavements are busy

With folk clutching bags

The sight makes some dizzy

With envy, but designer labels

And such trash should not satisfy     

empty souls while far away

In third world sweatshops

These poor folk in need

pay the price of our greed

 

you might notice the beggers sittin about

wrapped in their blankets

with a dog, there’s no doubt

they are asking for money

do you no think that’s funny

in our land rich with oil?

it would make your blood boil

 

There’s all sorts of folk in Princes Street

Tourists and shoppers, out for a treat

But look, there’s folk o’ another ilk    (ilk-kind)

With fancy suits and ties made of silk

wandered out from their temples to greed

they’re all about profit and not about need

just give us bonus, or we’ll up and away

well just bugger off is what most of us say!

 

Woops I’ve digressed

But I’m still heading west

And I’ve spied the big M, a test

of denial just don’t mak me tak'    (tak'-take)

I’ll order my usual, a tasty big mac

On the way down it gives me a hit

But later I ken that I’ve just eaten s**t!     (ken-know)

 

but now the street has reached its end

one o’ the best most would contend

looked at, one way, the views will impress

but for my opinion you’ll just have to guess!

However there’s one thing for sure

I’ve had a CAPITAL walk!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I hate to say it, but reading this is WORK, becuz of all the instances of "accented speech" that you're trying to incorporate. Even tho you may be crafting this carefully to reflect how this accent actually sounds, it is my humble opinion that sometimes you need to break from uniformity, in order to create a more friendly read. That is, instead of making every line true to the lilt, sometimes we feeble readers need more un-accented words thru-out, to carry the message, otherwise we're scratching our heads constantly as we puzzle out every other word & forgetting about the message. I think accents need only be approximated (especially for such a long poem). I would try an occasional reference to the unusual sounds, rather than doing it constantly for every line. Your accented speech completely overwhelms the message, so that I didn't catch much of it. I've tried writing accented speech like this, too, & my reviewers had the same opinion: TOO MUCH!!! I'm sorry I can't grasp your message, which I'm sure is delightful & informative about this part of the world.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks barleylass!! You have a very valid point. I tend to speak in the 'queens english' but writing in Scots seems entirely natural - it is our first language! In retrospect I wrote this for a scots audience and they appreciate hearing some of these words that they may have spoken when they were younger. I think that the push for Scottish independance has revived the interest in our native tongue (it is much more than an accent though!). Your suggestion will be taken on board because the whole point of the exercise is communication! Its great to get such worthwhile crit and not the platitudes that can be too easy.
Lang may yer lum reek! (long may your chimney smoke!)
Cheers, alan

[barleygirl]

I totally understand what you mean about the people who speak this way being delighted to see their "native tongue" in writing. It's the same as when I wrote about a labor dispute in a factory where I worked for years . . . people who never lived that experience are telling me to cut out a lot of the material, while those who remember this strike love being reminded of how it was. I do agree that this is like another language, much more than just "an accent" . . . I was going to tell you that, too . . . reading this is hard becuz it IS a different language! Thanks for taking my comments in good faith.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks again. I have rejigged The Princes street walk and it still looks OK I think. I've had to keep a few of the scots word to retain the rhymes.
Cheers, Alan

[barleygirl]

I didn't mention, the parenthetical "translations" are helpful. I've seen writers include definitions for unusual words in the author's note, but it's a hassle to keep scrolling down to check there. Your style (which I've never seen before) keeps the read going as we are educated about the words.

[barleygirl]

Also, now that I've taken some time to read thru your edited version, it is much more friendly & accessible. Feels like a stroll taken while on vacation, checking out the sights & people.

[KT-B]

How I laughed when I read this, you took through a wee stroll of the town I felt I was there, even the freezing cauld waverly steps, why are they always soooo cold and waverly itself!! Bravo, thoroughly enjoyed this ode to Edinburgh - best wishes