Henry Moore and the Shapeshifter

A dreamlike look inside my head!

Henry Moore and the shapeshifter

 

‘tae see oorselves as ithers see us’ �"Robert Burns)

 

Essence of human form

in stone, pierced once

Old Henry Moore got it right

topologically speaking

we humans are

in shape and space

a simple doughnut!

 

Flesh, bone and blood

surround a single tube

from mouth to anus

 

One sultry night, sleepless,

naked, restless,

upon the bed

feelings of dread

unsettling, unlocking

bones, elongating

wormlike my body coils

from waist to head

unhinges, twists

resists, resists

an urge, but not for long

to coil between my legs

and plunge into my puck

-ered anus, f**k

knows what’s going on!

Oh God! I’m inside me

endoscopically speaking!

There’s nothing else for it!

Head upwards, that’s a fact

the length of my digestive tract

elbowing up through my gut

Swimming against the flow

Of ….  Bloody hell I’m loose!

 

No lack o’ roughage here

Eased along by too much beer

 

But just when I think

that’s all’s going well

threatening eruptions

the vilest corruptions

explode in my face

but lead on McDuff!

 

A wee keek at my liver

Working well, it’s easy to tell

Guid living, that’s a laugh!

By giving a shove outwards

There’s nae need for specs

I can feel the pecs

O’ a man half my age

Frae the inside

 

Stomach gurgling away

Like a panfu’ o’ broth

I face her wroth

if it ‘biles’ over

I widnae hae the gall!

nae puns intended!

 

Lungs wheezing, just joking

There no bloody choking

from these air pumps

heart pounding away

but I’ve heard it say

that we’ve only so many heart beats

to savour each moment of life

so slow down, beating heart!

 

But now a potent urge

takes over, a powerful surge

to reach the motherlode

of dreams and thoughts

of course I’m half afreud

no, I’m bloody terrifreud

of what I’ll find!

 

 

A little wriggle and I’m in

My museum of memories

My own craniopolis

There’s muck and there’s gold,

Some shy and some bold

Some thoughts lie hidden

some rise unbidden

here to fright

and delight

in unequal measure!

 

A measureless collection of

filed and filled pigeonholed

trivia and treasure

delectable pleasure

erotic!

(not all I assure you!)

boxes brimming, to delve

stacked floor to roof, shelves

velvet halls and nooks

leather bound books

chambers and antichambers

as far as any eye can peer  

to far distant wings

pneumatic tubes whooshing

to and fro pushing

input and putout

garbage in and garbage out!

 

I peek in a file -

‘My first smile’

Open a box, with due care

‘My first love,’ none to compare!

I look in a folder

I must be bolder!

Shocked - I recoil

‘This can’t be me!’

Another I try to open

Inside, some thought, vile

 

But one fact I know

we’re all saints and sinners!

 

just one final look

I discover a bynook

well hidden, sinister

I pull at the drawer

It resists,

I desist, and then pull, pull

harder, and it gives

a file lies inside, inscribed

‘YOUR EVERY LAST SECRET’

I stop and think hard

enticed and appalled

Is this what I’m after?

Then, replace unread!

 

Some light at the window

The radio garbles nonsense

I’m awake, just a strange feeling

Of something wriggling away

What the f**k, time to face the day!

 

Reviews

[Neville]

This is so amazingly brilliant .. as far as I am concerned, you can DUMP the tablets Alan ... there will of course be those who might throw up mid way through the journey you take them on here ...

There will be many more though, like my self who are so grateful to you for posting something here that really aint that different from some of the dreams and thoughts that we ourselves have from time to time ... but .. and this is the important bit .. are too frightened for whatever reason to disclose ...

I dont know how I came to miss this until now ... maybe it was just a mental defence mechanism

Brilliant regardless ....

Neville

[alanwgraham]

Sorry, N, I forgot to say that I absolutely need to take the pills. I may be ok for months but then things go badly awry. Three years ago on a visit to my brother in S Africa I stopped my pills andI ended up locked up in hospital, missed flights home etc. A nightmare!
Cheers,
Alan

[Neville]

I know Alan .. and even as I sent that I realised how irresponsible it was of me even to say in jest .. I subsequently retract that okay ... everything else still stands though my friend ...

Neville

[alanwgraham]

You are too kind Neville. Glad to hear you are fine. We need buddies in every cafe! The Henry Moore metaphor for this sparked from a visit to the Yorkshire sculpture park (fab place). About 7-8 years ago I became manic (very rare) and all this poetry gushed out unbidden and fully formed. When I looked at it later I was quite stunned. Luckily the episode only lasted a few days as I take lithium but the creative writing and my eccentric view on the world has stuck. Your review has actually got me thinking that I'd like to share my experience.
Look after yourself.
Alan

[Kathy Van Kurin]

"Henry Moore and the shape shifters"
alangraham,
This was an interesting use of words; processing inner-mind stream of consciousness. I felt like I was entered into some kind of history moving forward as in a dream. Some dream it must of been! An alien abduction? Well, a creative ride it was! Then you woke up.
"Light at the window"
Time to face the day but you are left with a lingering trace of where your being has been?
Blessings,
Kathy

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Kathy for reading this. About four years ago I was quite manic for a spell and all this writing just flowed out of my inner depths without much effort. Some were definitely too way out to share but i hoped this one could make some connection.
Regards, Alan

[Kathy Van Kurin]

It is interesting how you still had the wherewithal to find the strength of write your inner stuff down. Even in a place of challenge the inner soul is a place of process. A lot to think about.
Blessings, to ya!
Kathy

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for that Kathy. It is remarks like yours that make WC such a positive experience. In fact, in that frame of mind, the opposite is the case. It's like trying to plug a burst dam with your finger, exciting but scary! All the best, alan

[Duncan Brown]

Jizz jizz jiz jizz jizz......................

[alanwgraham]

I am working on a story about an alien spacecraft approaching the earth and trying to make sense of signals they are picking up from earth. I think it is likely we have the advantage of speaking the same language. Let's start communicating!
Cheers, alan

[Jo Billygoat]

Per your request I read. I enjoyed it. Great break from my mellow dramatic crap. I had two trains of thought while reading it -- this guy is either in a dream or writing about a dream OR this guy is writing down his drunken state so he'll remember what he was thinking while he was drunk

Not as complex but close and a lot more funnier than a writin a girl ask to structure and formalize into a poem for her while I was in college from something she wrote while she was on an acid trip. Damn thing was long, like 2-3 pages. Took me a week of my attempt to formalize a acid trip of someone, I liked doin it cause it was interesting and challenging. Never did drugs but was definitely an exposure into one who was on a wild acid trip. I had let her read my book of poetry and so she asked me to put her trip into a poem.

I been writing since high school. Most of my poems are from high school and freshman and sophomore college years. My book of poems is in VA in storage so I can not share any of that with you. I decided to post all the poems I had on another website to writerscafe because this site is more structured.

I appreciate your review and comments on my poem. I see you have quite the collection of writings. I have some Christian stories if you don't mind Christianity and stories if you want to check those out.

Take care and keep on scripting, I think you are a good writer. Maybe even a great writer but who am I to judge but just a pion amongst pions.

[alanwgraham]

Ta very much for your quick reply and taking the time. What you say is interesting. I wrote this when I was very high, in a manic frame of mind. Most of my stuff is short stories and very accessible. My poem called Manicarus' shows what this manic state feels like. I look forward to looking at your writing but I may ask you some difficult questions about the Christian stuff.
Thanks again,
Alan

[Jo Billygoat]

You are most welcome. I will try to answer any questions you have on Christianity though in all honesty I am a babe in my faith and to further delve into being honest I am not strong in my walk.

[Samwam]

Oh my soul, i loved it. Smiled at moments. Found it an interesting read. Conjured various emotions. Thank you for sharing.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks! Samwan

[Bram]

This is really cool. It takes a bit to get into it but once you do you find the full meaning. Mania is really incredible, and sometimes quite enlightening as well. This look into your mind when you were in this state is fascinating. Well done!

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for making the effort to follow this.
Alan

[Lee Bakes]

You were correct about the poem being complex, but it gets better and better as you read on. Nae puns intended and yet finding so many is an absolute delight!!! I really like how you have kept the ending very open and how you decide not to read your secret. haha clever. Nice little allusion there too about the whole first love deal. As for your whole journey through your oesophagus etc, is quite metaphysical, if I may? and weird, and i think it is essential cause that is what sets the mood. This was an interesting read albeit complex :) but i get how crazy you have to go to write something this intense!! Great work.

[barleygirl]

I'd like to leave a meaningful review, but this poem is a little too bizarre for me. In the first part, the bowels references are a little too graphic to be fun or funny (for me). Then the poem goes in a different direction & I'm pretty much lost until the end. However, just becuz I can't follow the thread, I do see the creative & well-crafted word choices & turns of phrase all along. Maybe it's just a difference of taste. Thanks for suggesting this read, so I can get a glimpse into your manic mind! (((HUGS)))

[alanwgraham]

Thanks again for your review. It is great to get your honest opinions! I am certainly aware that in the Henry Moore 'poem' there is a disconnect between the first section (the body!) and the following part looking inside my head. I have been thinking about modifying it and perhaps changing or cutting out the 'body' part. On the other hand I did write it when i was fairly 'high' and I feel that I might be denying that 'creative' party of me to change it too much. Then again - who really cares! Perhaps two versions is the answer. Well done by the way for resisting the lure of the mobile. My kids bought mine (years ago) and it does help my wife to keep track of me (haha!) I find it interesting, although I'm not really surprised, that I really struggle with poetry when I'm 'normal' but luckily the short stories seem to work.
Thanks again, Alan

[barleygirl]

Many times, I've re-written the same life story in different ways, rather than obliterate some version that reflected where I was, at some other time. Especially becuz I write mostly autobiographically, everything looks very different as I evolve. But I also treasure my "out there" early versions, even tho I'm not brave enuf to share them publicly! *smile*