star of India

 

her height so far above the norm   that average can but recline in a green   pedestrian   floundering fugue of metered rhyme   and look above   as to a star   and wonder if mortal soul   can reach it in a lifetime     the answer is a sky clear of cloud   where words by comparison   (to hers)   are unrequited promises   feted to peter out   into retrospective oblivion   and a lingering sadness of work   mind / feet / doomed   to be forever bound   to terra firma and   its mediocre miasma     she shines like no one else   a welcome dawn   whose shards puncture   through my cognition   with precise   literary provocation     she is a burning star   upon which to wish

Reviews

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I have always loved these words.I like it a lot more with how it has been revised.I like the last few lines..
she shines like no one else



a welcome dawn



whose shards puncture



through my cognition



with precise



literary provocation





she is a burning star



upon which to wish
'i like whose shards puncture my cognition'..particularly.
You are as always brilliant with words.

[G.C.... aka Gene]

Everytime I read this poem I find myself saying, I hope she has a sister for me! Your words and emotions spring her to life in a magical way.

[Ardra]

Beautiful :)....whoever u rote this to..... must have been a beautiful shining star...

[emmah]

- and which wishes - to such bright stars - would go unanswered!!!! if she's in your wishes - she's fortunate - and loved - and there isn't much more - one could ask for!!!!

[...]

. she is blessed ... to have such amazing star light sprinkled on her ... your words garnish her existence with exceptional respect and warmth ... ravishing poetry ...

[Emily B]

brilliant, shining words

my birthday present to myself was to wander through words

I suppose I should get back to work now.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

ahhh yess.. this one is incredible as i remember it - yet with your subtle changes, it feels more elegant, mature. this is one of those soft pieces that exude such tenderness, alan

[Emily B]

Frost wrote:

O, Star, the fairest one in sight
We grant your loftiness the right . . .

Your poetess is a tall figure, you describe her so well that we feel that she must burn somewhere.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

A beautiful poem written here. Great Work!

[.]

a subtle poem laced with subtle metaphor..beautiful imagery conveyed

[Amber Betty Marie Child..]

Cant even put it into words (pure feeling) but I will say your wording is very good