tide

surface dapples

in cool something

seen yet

intangible to an eye

and its first inkling

 

transcendent

 

of the superficial

in space and time

 

in inane exchanges

between peaks

of mountains

 

or circumstance

that can tear

a play house down

 

it stipples

a vast and restless

tide

 

like brush to cotton

sweat on sweat

 

 

like

you and i

Author's Note

any advice and constructive criticism is appreciated...thanks

Reviews

[Emily B]

it's so light and airy and heavy as lead at the same time, I find myself wanting to turn the piece over looking for little trap doors . . . it's wonderful

no criticism at all

[Wildfleour]

I loved this write. To be constructively critical (smile), I think the last stanza is not necessary.

[Khitii Lae-Ahn]

such a delicate..and breathtaking piece...makes my entire being sigh...an absolutely lovely piece

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

"like brush on cotton / sweat on sweat" - that is so you in essence.. this is a gorgoeus lush write.

my only question is - should it read peaks OF mountains? in somehow keeps making me stumble..

otheriwse the piece is flawless, and ohhhh..... just... ohhhh