old beyond repair

With gratitude to Ed Hart

the time arrives
when something crawls inside

to tell biology
the time

I felt it creep
slept with one eye
on the clock

and under bed
alternately

must have
at some stage
nodded off

for now

this form of mine
constricts in pits
and lines

more akin
with whence I came

than sky
where once
the aspirations

were so set to fly
and by the by
met bye bye

snuck up tapped my shoulder
like a last drinks call

or prison staff
at too brief visitation

telling me
it's time yes
it crept up fast

I lost track
somewhere between
the summer wine

and autumn breeze my

teeth are sound
the hair be grey
may nothing fall

fail fade break
decline or dissipate
just

one more day

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

They say the universe in its entirety is in entropy. We are perhaps just experiencing our private corner of dilapidation. Even stars fade or burst in novae. Eh, maybe it's better to burn out like a meteor all ablaze in a ball of fire than a rocky satellite hiding out in the shadows of some sleepy planet. Life comes and goes too fast. That much I know.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Excellent descriptive free verse on that ageing process that does suddenly creep up on us like a mugger in a dark, wet, Glaswegian alleyway.

[Samuel Dickens]

If we were old, high-mileage cars, they could fix us up with new parts till good as new, but alas, we are not so repairable. I've been suffering from all manner of old age afflictions, the latest being arthritis in my left, middle finger. The darned thing is perpetually flipping the bird, and playing guitar is downright painful. Despite all that, I join you in wishing that we hold together for one more day.

[Chris Shaw]

Yes,, time has a habit of catching up with us. In our youth we don't pay much attention to it, but then we find ourselves in the autumn of our years, and how things change. We start to be aware of those niggling signs that we are over the hill and moving faster on the downwards slope. Very relatable and well written lines.

Chtis

[alan peter kelly]

Thank you Chitis, I was beginning to wonder I I was ever going to see another review on this site again haha just logged in after weeks and there you are...thanks again. Look forward to reading your literature.

[alan peter kelly]

Thank you Chtis , I was beginning to wonder I I was ever going to see another review on this site again haha just logged in after weeks and there you are...thanks again. Look forward to reading your literature.

[Chris Shaw]

Well from time to time, I look for new faces. Yours was there today, so happy it coincided with your visit. All the best.

[alan peter kelly]

I've been here since the site's inception...pretty much been in cyberspace and several sites with art forums for almost as long as cyberspace itself....Thank you for your engagement.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome. I hope you continue to post here.

[Enchanted-Raven]

It goes far too quick...enjoyed :) x

[BBP]

You hit the nail on the head man! There are times where you actually see time moving from outside yourself.

Life often throws a punch to the gut now and then as a reminder we are getting old! lol

This was laid out perfectly.

[Shannon]

They add up, the days, don't they? This one really hit home today. The reminder to take hold if the days, do they don't creep up or slip by. Thank you for sharing it.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

But . . . . how does the spark feel. Is it burning? Is it a dying ember? Fires lit and fires squelched, the end is the beginning's swell. I swept by to weep for David and here I am being an irreverent imp. My apologies. Off I go.

[Kelly Scheppers]

That's all any of us can ask for, really...is one more day. I'm sure Ed loved this!

"I lost track
somewhere between
the summer wine
and the autumn breeze..." ...awesome writing, Alan.

[Papaya]

This is a super piece of writing. I feel it creeping up slowly too.
Nice work Alan.