Her.

A short, simple interaction which fiddles a certain part of the mind, an unhindered, untouched, sacred part.

Her.

 

          We come across many kinds of people in our life. Some turns into besties while some into late night text buddies, few into enemies and few into those “we just can’t stand their gut, for no reason at all!”. Then comes all of the crush, in front of whom we just turns into this lamest/ clumsiest/unluckiest person ever. Further comes all the failed relationships and all those heartbreaks, again and again like a loop, it comes to the point where you start to think that you are just not meant to be with anyone and probably gonna die alone. And then it all filters down to that one person.

        This person has no name or category; you just don’t know who that person is. He turns your life upside down and shows you the true self, the true self that you always knew but never really wanted to accept or realize. He gets into your head and turns you miserable. You just hate him and wants to cease any and every interaction with him but then your life just comes to standstill and you curse yourself that why you even met that person. The feeling that- life just wants to play games with you by placing that person in your life, like someone is just sipping a beer and watching my life sitting in the balcony. Having fun up there?

      It all started back in November 2016, we could all feel that how cold Pune was going to be that winter. I should had sense the sign of storm coming in my life. It was a normal cheerful day, I did my chores early that morning as always, woke up my roomie, lazy lizzy!, she is a happy pain in my butt or I am in love and that’s why it felt all chivalrous! I don’t know anymore! Anyways, his name is David Strongheld. Heavy name right? I know! He is in defence, I always liked guys in uniform. They all have this certain personality about themselves, strong, confident, tall. Well I am 5’1, even kevin hart seems tall for me. Anyways he is a great boyfriend, a little uptight but nice.

Love potion wore out till that evening, everything turned lazy, it was like time has changed its s**t, now every 4 hours is a minute! I got back home from hospital, changed into something comfortable and loose as hell, got on my bed and started scrolling down my whatsapp contact. I replied my boyfriend and turned to read all the whatsapp statues alphabetically. I love reading them, gives you a sneak peak of whats happening in their life without really talking with them.

“Anton- Times they are changing; Good for you anton”, I said to myself while my back over the bed, staring at that screen and scrolling down. “Alfred- I hate her so dearly that my heart hurts in happiness; Way to go alfred! She was a b***h anyways”, giggled to myself saying that and scrolled down, there it was.

I turned over the bed with a wide smile over my face, giggling to myself again, looking at the next one. “Alan- Rachel Mown! Text me if you see this”. That’s my name! Why he wants to talk with me? Its been years. The last time I remember seeing him it was like 6 years back, we were in college in Mumbai, I was doing science as my major, he was doing the same. We were in the same class and Davon asked for my number from the far end of the class during our lecture, it was exciting. Alan and Davon were buddies back then, little chubby, 5’5 I guess, dark, with scrawny beard patch over his chin, nice short hairs with a no style sense. He was not much of a talker, Davon on the other hand knew how to hold a convo. Davon and I got along shortly after that, was it the way he asked for my number or the convo? I don’t know but it was exciting. Alan just stayed at the sidelines.

After all these years, why now? Whatever it was, its kinda cute. I smiled and pressed his name on my screen. The picture of a guy looking away from the screen with tattoos all over his shaved head popped with a chat box. Of course it is not his, I laughed at my silly little thought and typed. “say”; with a laughing emoticon and sent him. I stared at the the chat box smiling and saw his last seen changed into online. A reply came back,“ I just wanted to say that I missed you”. My smile widen. I replied him back, “Hahahahaha that’s cute, that really made me happy; smileys and laughing emoticon”. He replied, “Thank you thank you, so hows everything?”.

                    “Everything is great, I am in Pune, and I am doing PG in medical wbu?”

“That’s great, I am a copywriter in an ad agency, I fell in love with words”

                        “That’s really nice!”

“Love life?”

                           “You meant dating?, Its nice, He is in defense, Mr. Strongheld

‘Woahh that’s a heavy name”

                                                                 I know right! Haha, It started just back in August and you know what my last boyfriend was in army, we met in club.

“I sense a type here”

     “I don’t have a type, its just a coincidence, I just like guys who are responsible, who don’t throw life for fun, smoking and boozing all the time. I like guys who are willing to take a responsibility.”

“I would say you still do have a type,

 you just don’t know it consciously, you are drawn

to certain kind of people.”

                                                                                    “Might be I am”

“Interesting, I haven’t met anyone who thinks like that,

Atleast who is in her early 20s”

     “I like guys who are passionate in life about something”

“Yea I get what you mean,

A guy should be passionate about something in his

Life, A thing that makes him feel alive”

 

What was that?. I sat over the bed upright and took some time to sink that all in. It was like he is trying to get inside my head. Weird. Never felt anything like this. No one has made me ran out of words. I am the one who ends the chat, not others. Was it really him? Time can change people so much? I am now scared to talk with him, don’t know what he will let out now from my head. It was nothing; then why am I so freaked out?      

 

Author's Note

Should i continue? And what you think about it? Dont forget to comment about Alan.

Reviews

[Elanna Lillian]

I really like the voice at the beginning of the story. The casualness of it immediately pulled me in because I felt like the narrator was inviting me into a conversation about the kind of ride that life takes you on. The additional narrator commentary continuing on throughout keeps a nice consistency to the story and made me engaged because it was as if she was asking me personally to relate, which was a nice interaction. I definitely think you should continue! I want to learn more about Alan because he seems like an interesting character and in this we only get to see a snippet of his personality. He seems to be hinting at a personal passion in his last message and it makes me curious about his intentions with reaching out to Rachel. The main thing to look out for is making sure that your verb tenses match so that it is an easy read. Aside from verb tenses and some grammatical errors, the potential is very intriguing!

[alankillsmonsters]

Thanks a lot, it means a lot to me

[Maddy Raye]

Wow. This is amazing.ots so true about a lot of people. Including me. But honestly I think I may have found that one person but I'm still not sure yet. But anyways this was really good. Keep up.

[alankillsmonsters]

Thanks a lot (:

[Maddy Raye]

No problem :)

[Kathryn Smith]

This is very well written! I loved it. :) xx

[alankillsmonsters]

Thanks a lot :)

[Jenn E.]

I really enjoyed how it seemed to start as more of an essay/personal story, but then evolved into what seems like a realistic fiction piece about the main character reuniting with old friends and finding that feelings can change as much as people can. It's really well written and is easy to relate to. You should definitely continue.

[alankillsmonsters]

Thanks a lot Jenn :)

[Tashida]

This was a pretty interesting read. I especially like the beginning. It was like the opening narration to a really great movie. (At least that's what it reminded me of.) You definitely should continue. The dialogue was great. Letting us into her thoughts gave the readers a glimpse into her personality. That's always a very intriguing thing. I could imagine myself clearly and followed it very well, aside from when grammar got in the way. Make sure your tenses are compatible otherwise it won't be as easy for the reader to follow.

Other than that, I loved it. And to reiterate: Yes you should continue!

[alankillsmonsters]

I will, thanks a lot :)

[Tashida]

No problem!

[Red Rose]

Whatever I wanted to say was already told by the others. But what I will say is that you please continue...

[S. von Glaubitz]

I admit I wasn't so sure when I first started reading, but by the end I was completely sucked in! Once Rachel starts flipping through the Whatsapp statuses you really seemed to have your flow. It feels intimate and relatable. Then Alan is introduced. I'm a sucker for romance, and I think you nailed it here. The mystery of Alan reaching out to her after so long, the way he seems to have changed, her giggling over his interest in her despite having a boyfriend... all very well done! I would say you could cut the first two paragraphs. The third paragraph is a little confusing to me, but that might be because of grammatical issues, which I normally say don't worry about that this point--you're just starting and things are probably going to get changed anyway when you start editing. Just clean it up and start there. You've got a great hook and I absolutely think you should continue with this piece. Good luck!

[alankillsmonsters]

Thanks a lot, I will edit them for sure (: