Chapter 1 - Wherein the seeds of this majestic quest are sown...

The challenge is born one bright and sunny day, in Berlin’s Mitte district. (Actually I’ve no idea what the weather was like, and most of the following dialogue is invented anyway). Our heroes, let’s call them Alan and Hector, were hard at work at their jobs as international models, when one of them came across an article in a magazine purporting to list ‘Berlin’s Best Burger Places’.

“I say,” said Alan in his rough Scottish brogue, “what do you make of this list? Of all these burger places listed here, I’ve only been to White Trash, which is an execrable den of iniquity, and The Bird, which I would say can comfortably lay claim to the title of Berlin’s Best Burger.”

“I concur my good man,” replied Hector, in his strong Spanish accent, “a Bird Burger is a truly transcendental experience, matched only by a good bullfight or flamenco dance.” (I’ve clearly never actually been to Spain, or even met a Spanish person)

“Well I think we owe it both to ourselves and the burger scene in this fine city to find out for sure which is Berlin’s Best Burger, don’t you think?” queried Alan.

“Once again Alan, you make perfect sense,” replied Hector. “I propose a quest. Before I leave this wonderful city and move to Swaziland at the end of the summer, we shall visit every establishment listed in this article, plus any others which we come across professing to offer an exceptional burger.”

And thus, a flippant conversation crystallised into a crusade which was to dominate their lives, leading them to question everything they thought they knew, everything that had previously seemed so certain, the very fabric of their beings, for at least the next three and a half, maybe four, weeks.