intertwined

This is a story about one of the many despised and avoided emotions known to man-kind, fear. Fear consumes all of our lives at some point. Some people spend their entire lives trying to fight it, but there are a few of us lucky enough to realise early on that fear’s impossible to avoid, it’s inevitable. Fear’s meant to be overcome. Maya believed that people felt the most fear when they were confronted by love. The game of love was dangerous, and she knew that. What Maya didn’t know was that, players are thrown into the game against their own will and once you’re in, there’s no way out but through. 

At this moment, Maya felt alive. Why, you ask? She finally met a boy who does her heart wonders. Her mind? Not so much, but she stopped listening to that months ago. Now, she sits day-dreaming about his arms around her, her body pressed up against his, the tingle down her spine when he whispers into her ear, “I want you”. She wanted him too, in fact. Some might say a little too much. She wouldn’t ever admit that to herself, however, because deep down, she was afraid that if she said a word about her feelings, that’d make it real. In truth, they were both a bit like that. So instead of whispering the words “I want you”, they used their hands and painted the words on each other’s body as often as they could. They spent days together, doing anything but admitting how they felt: weekends away, f*****g all day, laughing into each others arm’s and dreaming about the future; Heads in the clouds, bodies held close, hearts aligned. She felt as if the universe was pulling her to him, from the moment she saw him across the room, years ago. Back then, it was just a silly party, one that she didn’t even want to go to. But she’d been stuck in the house for over a year and even though her friends knew she was still grieving her beloved father, they insisted on getting her out of the house, so she did. 

She left the house late and tired, knowing she couldn't possibly look worse. In a royal blue dress and her hair tied into a loose bun, she pushed herself into the cramped basement filled with friends she hardly recognized anymore. The room was dimly lit, with soft music humming in the background. The people she once called family were bouncing around to the beat of some song she didn’t recognize anymore. Before being able to greet them, a loud shrill aches her left ear. Running towards her now were Jen, Brielle and Amber, “Maya!!!”, they hurry towards her with open arms and scream cohesively into her ear.  “It’s been so long, girl!”, Jen exaggerates as Maya pulls away from Jen’s unyielding embrace.  Maya takes in a deep breath and pushes a brown lock behind her ear. “I know, it’s been a while.” Maya’s voice was quieter now, and everyone could tell. “That’s okay! At least you’re here with us now”, Brielle tightly squeezes Maya for comfort. Maya had always felt a little closer to Brielle, and thanked the heavens that she was here to save her from complete social isolation. “Where’s Sarah? I should give her my gift”, Maya inquires with a desperate need to escape the wall of girls currently suffocating her. “Over by the drinks, I assume”, Amber snarks, taking a sip of the solo cup in hand. Maya nods her head slightly before searching out for the drinks table. She had gotten her a $75 Sephora gift card, a Gold necklace and two bars of Sarah’s favourite chocolate. They were all things also mentioned in Sarah’s discrete text message titled things i will cry over if you don’t buy me.  Maya notices a petite, red-head in a lavender cocktail dress sorting through bottles at the back of the room. “Hey Cindy”, Maya’s voice was lighter this time. Her relationship with Cindy was easier to maintain over the past year. Cindy wasn’t the type to talk to her friends often, but when she did, it always felt like no time had passed. During some of the lowest points in Maya’s grief, Cindy was always there to offer a funny and light-hearted conversation. The very few laughs she had were often over the phone, late at night, gossiping about Cindy’s newest crush. So when she pulled Maya in for a hug and thanked her for her gift, Maya knew she had made the right decision to come. The only thing that troubled her was actually staying. 

Maya accepted a mixed drink from Cindy before settling in a comfortable chair for the night. She vowed to herself that she’d never dance at parties, and she wasn’t planning on turning her back against that now. The alcohol buzzes through her only slightly, but enough to keep her dazed and unaware of the pain in her chest. It helped her get through the conversations, “I wonder when Luca’s going to get here”, Amber looks mischievously at the door. Maya didn’t know who Luca was but after the year she’d had, she couldn’t care less about meeting anyone new. “Luca’s already here! He’s just upstairs”, Brielle giggles and taps Amber’s shoulder. “But why did he even come? He’s friend’s with Sarah’s brother, not her”, Jen rolls her eyes. “I don’t care, I’m just glad he’s here”, Amber bites her lip and smirks down at her solo cup. It seemed as if Amber’s plans for the night weren’t going to be civil-- pleasurable maybe, but certainly not civil. “Hm, yea, I actually don’t know why he came”, Brielle’s face turns deep into thought. “Hey Cindy!” Brielle calls across the room. Cindy rushes towards us, trying not to spill the drink in her hand. Slightly offbeat and clearly tipsy, she sings “Yeeessssss?”

 “Why did Luca come to the party?” Brielle wonders. “Oh, I told him Maya was coming and he wanted to see her”, Cindy tries to muffle her giggles with the palm of her hand. Maya’s ears perk up as she tries to suppress the red in her cheeks. “Then why is he upstairs?”, Amber's face looked red as a tomato, scorching with fury instead of embarrassment. “Becauseeee, Maya came so late! We all thought you weren’t coming, so he went upstairs to go hang out with my brother. But now you’re here, and I’m so glaaaddd!” Cindy’s face breaks out in a toothy smile as she embraces Maya a little too tightly. Maya, however, couldn’t get passed the fact that some guy she’d never known came to a party just to see how she looked. Was it because her dad passed away? She couldn’t wrap her head around it at all. But suddenly, she was curious to see how he looked too.

After an hour of roaming around and catching up with her companions, Maya felt a rush of exhaust hit her at once. She felt the need for air, something the cramped basement was lacking. With the rush of heat radiating from the countless bodies now pressed together on the dance floor, Maya looked for an escape from the chaos. Suddenly, her eyes spot a closed door in the back of the room, with a dim light peeking from its cracks and corners. Her feet draw her pass the sweaty bodies and towards the shut door. Behind the wood, she could hear light laughter coming from two guys. Her need to escape forces her hand to twist the doorknob, welcoming her to the sight of two boys playing air hockey. 

“Maya! Want to play?” Theo turns back and greets Maya with a friendly smile. Theo used to be fairly close to Maya before her dad passed away, although Maya believed it was only because Theo harboured a small attraction towards her. He’d asked her out twice before her father passed away, and after the second rejection, Theo slowly lost interest in her. After that, Maya was the one to lose interest in everyone. 

“Hey Theo, I’m good. I just came in here for some quiet”, Maya shakes her head and waves gently. She noticed another guy slouched against the air hockey table. His demeanour appeared shy and quiet, but Maya could tell there was more to him. His height was the first thing she noticed. He was a towering presence compared to Theo, and his eyes looked rather squinted. It vexxed Maya because she found those kind of eyes adorable on guys. In truth, she didn’t know exactly why this man caught her interest so immediately. She just knew he was the first one to catch her eye in a very long time. 

“Maya, you haven’t met Luca yet! This is Luca, Xavier’s friend-- or neighbour? I don’t even know” Theo laughs with a slur. Maya spots the two solo cups tucked underneath the air hockey table and nods her head, releasing a light chuckle. 

“Nice to meet you”, Luca looks to Maya and nods his head. Suddenly, Luca’s name rings a certain familiarity. Xavier was Cindy’s younger brother, was this the guy who wanted to see how Maya looked? Maya grins at Luca and tries to hold back any indication of recognition. 

“Nice to meet you, too”, She smiles before finding a seat on the other side of the room. From here, she could gather a sense of what Luca was like, any indication as to why he wanted to see her. Though she wouldn’t admit it to herself, suddenly Maya wanted to see him too. 

Luca and Theo return to their airhockey match, giving Maya a chance to examine her surroundings. The small room was painted red, dim-lit and lined with bright yellow fairy lights. Long shawls hung delicately across the walls and the floor was lined with dark black fur carpet. It was a calmer vibe compared to the main part of Cindy’s basement. Maya was surprised more people weren’t in the room, but she was thankful for the solitude it brought. 

“Bro, just let me win once!” Theo whines desperately into his hands. Luca releases a soft chuckle and places the puck back in the centre of the board. “What’s that? Five times, Theo? Just give up now.” Luca chuckles deeply and shakes his head. “Screw this, I’m grabbing a drink”, Theo huffs and storms out in frustration. Maya had watched Luca score and win five times. She had also watched the slow crumbling of Theo’s ego, with every loss. It humoured her how fragile male egos were. They were so easily wounded, and she couldn’t understand why. In fact, she doubted there was a man who existed without a debilitated ego. 

It was just her and Luca in the room now. She watched as his dark figure leaned against the air hockey table. Luca brings a red solo cup gently to his lips and takes a sip. His arm grips onto the table’s ledges as he leans hunched over, staring at a large painting on the wall perpendicular to him. Maya wasn’t sure if she should go up and talk to him. She wasn’t sure if he wanted that, but something in Maya told her to get closer. Maya’s feet draw towards the table. Luca’s ears perk slightly, but his eyes remained attached to the painting, lips to the cup. Maya eyes him slowly and wanders to the other side of the table. Her fingers play around with the puck as she tries not to stare at Luca. She couldn’t help but notice how finely shaped his shoulders were, the strength of his chest as it rose and fell, the grip of his hands on the air hockey table. She felt her body burn for the first time. Maya’s cheeks burn bright pink when Luca shuffles in his seat. Afraid of being creepy or obvious, Maya pushes her brown locks aside and she takes a seat beside him on the air hockey table.  

Maya notices the electricity run down her leg as she sits next to him. She wondered if he could feel it, too. Luca turns his head slightly towards Maya and licks his lips. “So, how do you know Cindy?” he asks with light tone. 

With a small breath, Maya responds, “We used to go to school together, we were pretty close.” Maya says quietly, looking down at her palms to distract her from the butterflies in her stomach. 

A short silence falls between them before Maya notices Luca staring back at the painting. It was an abstract oil painting, with miscellaneous streaks of white, black and red. In the middle stood a lean, black figure, alone amidst the paint. Maya couldn’t help but stare intently at the painting, too. Something about it resonated with her. 

“It’s a beautiful painting, isn’t it?” She remarks softly.

Luca stays quiet for a moment before responding, “It’s reality.” He replies, monotonously. 

“Reality can be beautiful though, can’t it?” Maya looks slowly at Luca who was staring at the floor now. 

Luca lifts his head slowly and turns the Maya. His eyes gaze at her legs, before moving up her torso and meeting her eyes. Maya felt like she could see a sea of emotion behind those eyes. His jaw clenches slightly as his gaze lowers to Maya’s lips. Maya’s chest rises as the sparks of electricity run down her, meeting at a very sensitive spot. Luca leans into Maya and places his hand behind her. He raises his hand and turns Maya’s chin towards him. Maya could feel her heart doing flapjacks in her chest. The fire between her legs was growing faster than she’d ever felt before. Who was this man, and why did she want him closer?

“It can be beautiful”, Luca says softly as his lips move closer to her lips.