mushroom clouds

a dream i had last night

last night, i dreamt that i was with my older sister in front my childhood home. suddenly, the sky turns yellow and cloudy. the air fills with dust. i turn to my sister and we both look up to see a crowd of black crows, flying in little circles. they spin around in that formation for what feels like half a second, before we hear a loud bang that shakes the ground beneath us. we tumble onto the floor of our beautiful childhood home and i see my older sister in front of me, completely unconscious. i turn back and see a large, nuclear mushroom cloud, the reminents of which were tumbling right towards us. this was it. this was what would be the disaster to end all disasters. i realized this was the end of me. at first, i felt relieved. finally, the exhausting process of life would end. but as i closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, i realized i did not know what would come next. after i close my eyes and see the darkness of my lids, i expect the cloud to swallow me whole. i was afraid i’d survive it like i’d survived every other disaster before me. i had no idea what sensation would fill me if i was not to survive it. what is the feeling of no sensation at all? that’s what i expected death to feel like. i’ve known what being had felt for so long, i could not imagine that being ripped away from me so quickly. and so, in my last moments before the nuclear cloud would take me too, i felt fear for the moment afterwards. i’ve been so used to dreading the moments after. i took in a deep breath and closed my eyes as death approached me. when it did, i opened my eyes and took a heavy breath in fear. it didn’t feel like a dream at all, and that’s what scared me the most. 

Reviews

[Ada]

At some point in life we all face our own mortality but yours just happened to be in a dream. Nice write about your experience; which consequently feels and reads more like a journal entry.

[avaya]

thank you! :)