just other human

I live inside, like every other human being
Have a passion for life, like every other human being
I wake up at night, I see the stars in the sky
I touch your soul through my eyes,
Like every other human being

My name rings a thousand words
Which paint a subtle picture.
The millions of thoughts I hear,
It couldn’t get any clearer,
How they want the attention
That’s wearing thin by the day,
I look into a mirror and see myself turning grey.
Is that all I am? A faint figure to admire,
Or will someone come my way and make the picture wider,
A shattered, broken glass trying to piece it back together,
I take it one day at a time, but I feel my will is getting weaker.

In moments as this dark, I turn to a light that could shine brighter
But for now and in this moment, that light is what leads me higher,
Into a void that seems so thin,
But upon approaching nearer,
I realize the meaning for this life is abstract and never clear
Is my attention all you desire? Or am I collage of something realer,
Is my heart enough for you or must I seek for some feeling,
That feeling that you need, to feel whole and unique
In your arms you hold me close,
I feel you breathe life back into me
A happiness I thought I didn’t need
Until now, I couldn’t feel
But with you, I am complete
With you, it’s simplicity

Will you break me again, or is this irrational fear?
Will you feel with me? All the pain and the anguish
That seeds in my being,
That’s me, an evil that needs no kneading
But I live with my past, like every other human being
And I wake up in the morning, needing to feel me breathing
I stand on my own two feet, no need to be carried
Is that enough? Or must I be the one to do the kneeling

Is that all, or is there more?
The future seems far too distant
And my thoughts occupy the places I wish were non-existent
I stay up late at night and think of all the reasons
Of why I’m even here and how I should be treated.
Is it all too much?
Must I hide myself in the dark, once again to be the mould of somebody else’s heart
Can I truly be me or is that far too much to ask,
Is there a part of me that’ll let someone else in to bask?
My sensation feels too dark and pitiable for a world
Where the strong are praised and the weak face only scorn.
I feel pushed to the side, to be prodded and ignored,
Until I fake a subtle smile and stitch up all that’s been torn.
It’s an empty feeling, when you trip with the guilt
Of feeling what you must feel
Only ever yearning to be still.

I curl up inside, like every other human
Is this all enough, or am I just another human?
Being feels so rough, and feeling seen is not enough.
Is beauty and recognition the most that I’ll amount?
Is beauty and recognition the traits which I behold?
Have I nothing else to offer? What happens when I get old?
A small, fragile being that craves a sense of control
The way I’m being viewed is not enough to reach my soul
I have more to give, and more to offer than anybody really knows
But when the labels hold me back, how ever can I move forth?

My dreams and aspirations keep me up like a drug,
I see pictures and fairies and lives that you have not thought,
And my mind is like a valley, with grooves of thick and thin,
The sun shines brightly in places as shadows lurk from within,
Filled with the creatures of my imagination, here lies real solitude,
Love that has no limits and feels no sleep,
Here lies my true roots.

If you see me, and please do,
My heart yearns for this
To be seen, all peaks and valleys,
Love me whole and love me true.
I don’t mean to disappoint, yet disappointing is all I do.
Let me see your pretty smile, let me know that you feel good.
That’s all I truly want,
For you to feel light in something dark,
I truly want nothing more than to see your lightness spark.