On the wall

On the wall I hang his picture 
On the wall I wish to walk
or hear the secret talk
of people lived in the past
On the wall my hand feels the heat 
On the wall leans my defeat 
and the my courage is brutally nailed
On the wall I hang her picture 
On the wall I scribble a stupid thought 
That only a wall can share 
That only a wall can bare 
On the wall I see the Summer’s scar 
and the winter’s hole
where a lonely ant walks in
searching for a friend 
On the wall I hang their picture 
I hang my picture
I paint red, orange and blue 
to erase the whitness of my world
On the wall I hang the memories
no more pictures
just the reflection of an old past 
and the shadow of a foolish future
on the wall...
...so much to be on a wall!

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Very nice piece, and I do like your use of repetition. There's a lot of very vivid imagery here and you've gotten your point across well. The ending does seem a little anti-climactic to me, but I feel like you might have been trying to go for a more gentle, uplifting sort of ending, so that works as well. Very well done.

[A.B]

oh! ...thank you so much for this useful honest review :)

[livetowrite]

A great flow and so clearly written. A very well done to you my friend x