Living hell on earth

It's about the fight between the mind and the heart. The struggle of overthinking.

It's that I know one day I am gonna obliviate,

I know I am not going to heaven, nor am I expecting a great place in hell as well.

Here am already going through a mini hell,

Me and my mind against the world, nope

Me and my mind against each other, yep that's true.

One day I am gonna be tired of this ragging war within me, 

Tired of me fighting me against me ,

Tired of running from everyone,

Tired of myself trying to convince that i am fine.

Tired of my smile towards everyone,

 

The days that I feel Lucifer is with me, when I've a lump in my throat and I struggle to breath,

The days that I feel hell on earth is, I lose control of my limbs and they feel jelly.

The days that I feel it's the hardest day is, voice in my mind laughing and I cry hard.

It's not painful,

It's more, 

It's way more, 

Its torturous

I know I m tormenting myself, 

I wish there was an end to it, 

Seems like I'll end but not the pain

The struggle of hoping I'll have a normal day, 

And it ends with me completely shattered.

I try to be the best and the strongest for everyone who need me, 

Me loving everyone possible.

My heart is the best heart in the world, 

It's been holding out a lot. 

Hoping for a better day each day,

Poor soul, little that it knows, it's not gonna be easy,

It's a tiny hell on earth.

And it's not like my brain is all good.

It's broken too just like my heart.

One with evil thoughts and other dealing with the evil.

It's like living hell on earth within me.

Author's Note

It's been a long time since I've written something from the bottom of my heart. This is my struggle in the form of poem. I hope people could relate and not feel alone in their journey.