sigh

A Story by Akleja

not finished...

"Jeez. It was always you." Michael stuttered. "It was always about ya - you're not the kind of dude who likes to tell the world when things get tough, huh... But I can see in you face that the hardest part with all of this is wakin up in the mornin and havin to remember to forget what kept you up thinkin last night." He sat there, with his ruffled hair covering parts of his face and with eyes clouded with thought and pain, looking. "Ya know... Life... The world doesn't work that way, mane..." He stumbled on the words, clearly not being able to say what was really on his mind. He ran his tattooed hand through his thick, brown hair before wrinkling his eyebrows and saying "Fill yourself with what's important or some deep s**t and f**k all the rest, ya know..." After a deep sigh he suddenly snapped. "Whatever, f**k it. I'm just sad because I really really like you man; more than I've liked anyone in a while but tonight I got buttfucked by the fact that I'll never be able to call you mine and that it's not any f****n deal to you. I'm beginning to realize how f****n little I mean to everyone and it's pretty damn painful." Michael covered his face with his hands and his body was shaking while he hissed through his teeth with a cracking voice. "My biggest mistake wasn't fallin for you, Marshall. It was thinkin you had fallen for me too. You're seriously all I can think about. Maybe I lied when I said I was ok... I... I don't know man..."

He got up from the chair and walked up to the window overlooking the hospital's parking lot. He stood there, silently sobbing for a while, before he turned around and looked at the machines next to the hospital bed. All those tubes and plasters and the sounds the machines made drove him crazy. They also reminded him that this wasn't just another dream. With his green eyes filling up and tears running down his hairy cheeks, he silently whispered while stumbling over the words yet again. "I just... just wish... I just wish you'd answer me man." In silence he just stood there, watching the machines help Marshall breathe. Everything was quiet, except for the machine's constantly beeping.

A knock on the thin door disrupted the silence and a nurse slowly pushed the door open. She looked at them both for a minute before she added "I'm sorray but visiting hours ended nearly 60 min ago, Sir. You'll have to excuse me but the doctor is about to come over for a check-up, you know." Michael looked at her, swallowed all the thoughts and feelings and said "Thank, miss." She responded with a smile and left whilst leaving the door open after her. Michael got his leather jacket and walked out the room, while slamming the door and not looking back.
"How the f**k could someone be so selfish and try to off themselves when there's so many people carin and lovin them?" he thought to himself.

He hurried to get out of the hospital. He couldn't stand that place, especially not with Marshall in there. "Its bloody scary that you never really know someone. Everything they say might just be damned lies but you'll never know cus you don't think or feel the same way as they do huh." He thought to himself while reaching for his car keys in his pocket. "Fuuuck." He walked across the parking lot up to his red Chevrolet and drove it into the night. "What even makes a man willingly pop some pills and drive into a cliff?"