Felines

story for my cousin it's about a friendship between a tiger and a cat in a human form, inspired by Angela Carter's Ther Tiger's Bride

He is the Tiger and I’m the Bride. Everything is so clear to me now.

Tiger is constantly wearing a mask, and I didn’t realize it when I was little. Always he revealed the same expression when he climbed a tree and knocked my bedroom window; when he walked me to my school; and when he gave me sweets whenever I cried. A mask that almost invisible, deceived me so well as if it has already dissolved with his face.

He was always there whenever I feel alone. Mum didn’t care about me, so she abandoned me when I was still too little to understand. Dad doesn’t love me, and that is why all he did was gambling and drinking beer. As if he ignored my presence completely. But Tiger is always there for me to give me a hand; a person that nobody wanted. But his eyes always told me how valuable I am. Never know if that is part of his mask, though.

The day dad went to jail because of double homicides accusation; Tiger was the only one who fights for me to prevent me taken by the child service. I couldn’t find any reason on why he tried so hard to drag me into his care, until now. I always thought that his action was ridiculous, to want someone like me who has no values at all. Every time I asked him for a reason, he always replied my with “we are best friends, and that is what best friends do.”

The day I moved into Tiger’s house, I visited the jail for the last time. Dad didn’t expect me to visit him, and that could explain his bright face. But the moment I said farewell to him, his face darkened again. The white rose I gave him didn’t make the situation any better either. It might because of my blood that stained the rose when I accidentally pricked my finger. But seeing his face is too painful for me. 15 years of his neglect erase my feelings completely of him.

“Tell me everything, Kitty. Tell me how you feel.”

“I can’t.”

“It’s okay, you can bare everything to me.”

“I am not ready. You are my best friend and you are always there for me, but I can’t

tell you everything I feel.”

He kissed my forehead before he left me alone in my new room.

----

He lives all by himself. His apartment is so neat and his wall is so empty, it is as if he is hiding something from me. His bedroom is always locked, whether he is inside or not. Every time I told him an excuse to enter his room, he always said that some people need his own privacy to be left alone.

I have never thought that living with him will be so choking. Slowly, he reveals his face. The smile in his face slowly fades. The smile he used to show when he showed up in front of my bedroom window. He told less jokes when he walked me to school. No more sweet gifts like he used to give me when I cried out of loneliness.

Dinner has never been this quiet in my life. So quiet, I can hear myself chew. The clinking of the fork and knife when they hit the plate is the only sounds that accompany us. As if they are the one who are making a conversation instead of us. This invisible ball of friendship trapped us inside; silenced us from revealing our feelings. And he can’t trick me to make a crack on the surface.

“Don’t expect me to bare myself to you. You barred me from your world and restrict me from your privacy. My feelings are mine to keep, and if you want to step into my heart, then open yours first.”

That night, the dinner left unfinished.

The next day, he doesn’t walk me home from school like he used to. And that trip without his jokes makes me able to weigh the chances for me to leave him and find another home that less intimidating. He is leaning on his bedroom door when I arrived home and about to walk to my room. He is staring at me; his face is so deep I can’t predict his feelings. It makes me stop right in front of him. Not to observe, but I can’t help it not to stop. Even though I am not sure whether he is waiting for me or thinking about something serious. But no matter which is it, his face stops me and makes me stare back.

“Come inside.” He finally said and makes my heart race, as the only thing I am expecting is something horrible.

When he opens his bedroom door, all I am thinking is to run away. I don’t know why exactly, but I am pretty sure I am scared of what I might find in there. But I asked for him to reveal his privacy, so I have no choice but to step in. My steps are so slow as they are suddenly become heavy. But when I am actually inside the room, and he closes his bedroom door, I finally realized why his apartment walls are so empty. His bedroom walls are so full of photos, as if they suck all the photos from the other walls.

“You know them.” he breaks the silence, makes my head turns to face him.

“Your mum and dad.” He sighs and walks towards his bed while eyeing the pictures on

the walls.

“They get divorced and left me when I was 18. I am too old for other people to care.” He sits on his bed and faces me.

I am he.

“I love you.” He said again and those words caught me off guard.

“I already reveals all of me and let you inside my privacy. I am bare naked in front of you now.” I still don’t speak.

I slowly walk towards him and sit on the bed beside him. My eyes are locked on him. Minutes after minutes I arrange my words in my head even though what I need to say is already clear.

“I love you too.” Those three words make me sick, as I too surprisingly feel naked in front of him.

“This friendship aura between us, wipe it off.”

His action is almost immediate. He leans forward, touches my neck, and kisses my lips in split second without giving me any time to think. But it was enough time for me to decide to kiss him back. The more he leans forward, the more I lean backwards until my back is laid on his bed. His hands start to move, unbutton my uniform to bare my top skin that only covered by a bra. He kisses my neck, my chest, down to my belly. And every time his lips make contact with my skin, our feelings unite more and more.

Finally, the cat turned into a tiger as well.