One Hour Speed Write VII

In a futile attempt to stagnate less than I've been as of late I hereby present a piece I will surely regret soon. I hope you enjoy it, if you don't I hope you have fun ripping it to shreds.

The record spins about on it's platform pointlessly, as the little barely perceptible needle that makes the whole mechanism work has long since left the realm of existence. But every now and again someone or something will bump into the power button. This then raises the question of why I've kept it plugged in for so long, cause this happens...more than I care to admit. It also raises the question of how much it would cost to replace such a tired piece of a equipment I've tried to artificially sustain for so long that probably would like permission to die now.
And then sometimes I think about replacing it and get an ipod or just fixing the arm of the machine but this is a black whole from which no thought (no matter how high you were when you made it) can escape, because once I acknowledge the disastrous state of this thing it raises the question of why I've yet to fix or replace the the tv remote, or the television it goes to, or the couch, or my mattress, or my fridge, or my toilet, or my computer, or my car?
I suppose I could replace the remote with little trouble but this brings us to the real question of why not just replace the whole tv? It's not for a lack of money. My roommate has a job. She calls people on the phone and tries to sell them shite made by a depressed oppressed Chinese school child that nobody wants nor needs in any universe where humans exists. Selling these disgusting products she nets roughly $100,000 a year...I think.
Or what about the couch? I spend a sizable portion of my life there. Actually come to think of it I'm arguably larger responsible for the majority of the damage that has befallen it. I can't help myself really, there's just loose bits of it all over to f**k around with, and even the not so loose bits deserve a feel.
Well I might spend much of my time on the couch sure but I spend the majority of my life on the my mattress. I think it's possible I've spent most of my life sleeping as a matter of fact, but is that so bad? Sleep is fun and you can have weird dreams of impossible things, like satanic snowmen! That's awesome and you know it is!
Oh but then we come to the fridge. It's mostly functional... most days anyway. Sometimes it stops working but then it will whir up again. Then again I've never actually opened the fridge since I eat canned food only so maybe it works fine and I just don't realize it.
We'll skip talking about the toilet because I'm civilized.
The computer, is warm, with lots of fun things popping up on it's screen, a nice place to rest and relax. But it's so slow! It has about 1/4 of an atom of ram on it! What's the point of having a computer if it doesn't have a terabyte of ram and a zettabyte hard drive for porn and a megabyte hard drive for not porn? It just seems pointless!
Then the car, or my roommates car. Actually all of the things, even the record player are my roommates, but I use them a lot too. When she let's me. She never let's me drive her car though.
Sometimes I wonder these things. I spend time sitting around getting fat thinking about these pointless things, wondering of why I these things never get replaced, and why I don't tell my roommate to replace them. But then I remember, I am a cat.

Author's Note

Well...this a thing that exists now...for better or worse.