Three/Five

I apologize now for this pieces exceptionally s****y quality.

It fell through the mail slot.

“Huh?”

I got up and took hold of it. Just a letter. But the mail doesn't run on Sunday.

I open it a bit cautiously. I unfold a perfectly normal sized paper. It has on it only two words in twelve point font.

“We know.” I say quizzically. “Know what? Who?” I open the door and inch out. Nobody in sight. Odd.

I let it fall straight into the trash.

Sitting back before the coach I let my mind fall to mush as the noises and patterns of light slowly take me away into a deep land of sleep. Every single flash further lulling me forth to the nether.

The knocks are sharp and they jolt me forth from this state.

I swing the door open. “What!”

“Would you like to buy some cookies?”

“F**k you child!” I let the door slam before her.

And so back to the couch I go and back down upon so too do I. With the remote I fiddle as I try to discover some show which shall capture my interest a surprisingly elusive goal.

The knocking returns. When I open I find the same little girl.

“Sir, would you like to buy some cookies?”

“I told you I ain't buying you little brat.”

“Sir, it is not wise to anger us.”

“Oh f**k off.” And with that again the door is slammed.

And then it slams against the wall as she forces it open.

“You will buy! You will buy!”

“Holy s**t!” I run towards the back of my house as quickly as I can and head out the back. I then circle around my house and start up my truck. Once my house is out of eyeshot I call up the police.

“911 what's your emergency?”

“A f*****g demonic girlscout broke into my house.”

I hear laughter. “What?”

“A girlscout broke into my f*****g house because I wouldn't buy her goddamn cookies.”

“Sir you don't need to worry. Just buy.”

“F**k!” I toss the phone out my window and press harder on the petal.

I let my eyes dart around searching for anyone following and thus I didn't see that wall.

I'm stuck now in a pile of broken bones in car pieces. I see the girlscout approaching me and legions of the blood thirsty at her back. The sky grows grey and lightning strikes.

“Sir, will you buy some cookies?” She says.

“Okay fine fine! I'll f*****g buy.”

“Thank you!” She turns all rosy and cheery as the legions disappear and the sun lets itself come forth.

She reaches with her little hand to grasp my wallet and takes out a certain sum. She then places the box before me.

“Here you are sir. Bye bye.”

I watch her skip away.

These cookies have peanut butter.

I'm allergic to peanuts.

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Author's Note

I hope you enjoyed it despite its numerous flaws.

Reviews

[Rami]

I laughed. That was much needed today. Thanks! :D

[アキスーテ (Akisute)]

Glad you enjoyed it.

[Rami]

I usually get turned off by vulgar language; your use of it , in this piece, was fitting, it seems , to add to the drama and horror. Clever;)