II/V

Day two in my stupid goal of a story each day for five days.

My finger traces over the pizza sauce that's landed on my stomach. I slurp it off my finger. Good god I'm a f*****g slob.
I take another bite of my slice and then return to typing.
Strands of numbers and letters that make sense to few and barely make sense to my float before my eyes. I don't understand every bit of it but I know I've been tasked with making minor tweaks to things like firing rate, reload time, running speed, and slightly reducing the arrow's arc.
Slimy, greasy fingers grasp for the glass of soda pop. I slurp it down adding to my fat.
Knock knock.
"Who the hell?"
I grumble as I heave my chair back and stand up. I walk to my front door.
I young man with long and clearly long gone uncombed hair stands at the door. Without so much as an introduction he barges his way into my house.
"Hey, what the... what the f**k are you doing?"
"Yes you, yes a perfect specimen."
"I'm what now?"
He withdraws from his pocket a syringe which he soon wildly stabs in to me screaming "Science b***h!"
I'm on the floor now, I feel like several hours have passed and I can't feel my limbs.
"How are you feeling?" He asks me.
"I can't."
"Hmm. I assumed the numbness would have worn off by the time you awoke. I must have made a miscalculation."
"Yeah probably so you mad b*****d. What the hell was that s**t anyhow?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you that."
"Bullshit why the f**k not? It's already in me you f**k!"
"Yes but I want to see if you can adjust to it's aid without knowing of them before hand."
"That's f*****g retarded."
He places a screwdriver on my back. "Can you feel that?"
"Yeah kinda."
"Hmm. Try standing up."
"Okay."
I dart upwards far quicker than I ever thought I could and begin flying back towards my wall.
"Oh s**t!!!"
As I brace for impact I realize I've begun floating.
"It worked! It works! I did it! I f****n' did it!" He screams.
"What in the hell have you done?"
"I have made the world's first superhuman! I am a genius!"
"So, what can kill me?"
"What? Oh nothing...f**k. I should have made some sort of kryptonite fail-safe."
"Probably."
And with that simple statement I rocketed out of my house. Ascending higher than any of the buildings I began to look around, it was at this time I discovered I also had x-ray vision. And so after participating in some mildly shameful activities in the upper atmosphere I dove down towards the surface letting my body crush the concrete and half of a car spewing forth bits of material and giant cracks.
Naturally everyone began running and I decided they were like pokemon and I had to catch em all.
However I failed to realize when you sprint towards someone at a hundred miles an hour with outstretched arms to catch them you won't end up with a human but rather two pieces of what used to be a human and a very bloody arm.
So with nothing to show for my human pokemon catching efforts I decided to walk into the nearest store and purchase a bagel. However they too had fled so I was forced to help myself to the bagel, talk about terrible customer service.
Upon stepping out of the bagel shop I found myself surrounded by several police officers all of whom I believe had crapped their pants. As one of them start yelling some orders at me I once again propelled myself into the sky, and once I reached  a reasonable height I propelled myself back down to where I came from, and then further until eventually I emerged through more concrete and several stories of a building somewhere in Hong Kong. I then followed course back through the hole and discovered nobody was guarding the spot now and the whole town looked rather abandon indeed, well except for the hordes of people clearly trying their hardest to leave.
I decided the only proper thing to do at this point was to establish myself as leader of the world and so I flew myself of to the U.N.. I was just lucky they were in the middle of a meeting as I crashed through the roof and began yelling at them, "I am your god! You will do my bidding! You shall meet my every whim!"
On the floor I lie still having yet to adjust the strands of letters and numbers changing things like firing rate, reload time, running speed, and the arrow's arc.

Author's Note

Well that was odd wouldn't you say?