Biting My Tongue

I'm biting my tongue

To hold back the tears

And to distract myself from thinking about---

A metallic, unpleasant taste fills my mouth

I spit out the blood,

Falling to the ground

On my knees

In agony

Not because I've bitten through my tongue

But from the pain wracking my body

From what I thought

I thought about you again

And how you left me

And how I can't live without you

And then I can't stop them

The tears flow freely

My breath catching

In tortured sobs

I grab a pen

And write this poem down

My tears falling

Landing on my inked feelings

Blurring both the words

And my eyes

Why

Why can't I be strong?

Why do I love you?

I can't handle this

More of my blood spills

Because I slam my fist into the counter

And I didn't look before I hit

The glass jar shatters

The pieces

Tinkle to the floor

Embed themselves in my hand

Blood drips down my fingers

Trickling down the sink

But I don't feel it

The jar was like my heart, my life

And you were the fist

Crashing down

Obliterating it

Except, you're unaffected

Unlike my hand

The jar left itself imprinted on my skin

Scars I'll keep for a while

However

You're not scarred

You came and damaged everything

Without consequence

Like an unknowing foot upon a bug

Unaware

No punishment

No one ever stops to think how the bug might feel

What it might be like to be the destroyed jar

Can't fix it

What's done is done

Even though you didn't mean to,

Even though I didn't want to hit the jar,

That doesn't make it any better

The jar's still broken

I'm still dying

I was biting my tongue

Figuratively by letting go of the opportunity to talk to you

And literally

To hold back the tears

And to distract myself

Both ways didn't end well

That's what love does to you

Or whatever you want to call it

Either way you're unaffected

And I'm still bleeding

Reviews

[Kimberly Smith]

nice poem