Middle Class Angst

Middle Class Angst

I’m filled with such pain,

Like a black hole I bottle it up inside.

My parents are too protective,

Like a shield I never asked for.

I have no friends,

except the people I hang out with.

I’m so dark inside,

Like a black hole.

School is stupid,

Like, something that is really stupid.

Like, Hitler or something.

Hallways are cramped.

We are forced to learn against our will.

It’s like we’re stuck in a concentration camp.

...or a black hole.

I look up, I look down.

I look left, I look right.

I look diagonally to the left and up.

I look diagonally to the left and down.

I look diagonally the the right and down.

I never look diagonally to the right and down, though.

That direction is for hipsters.

Problems reside in every direction.

Or at least the ones that matter.

Taxes, bills, college, … taxes.

These problems bottle up inside

and will be the death of us.

Like a black hole.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminded me so much of Pink Floyd...."we don't need no education, we don't need no thought control"

i like the tone and the conversational style, which fits this one well...throw that education and sophistication out the window...what good will it do us in the end?

[A.K.F]

I appreciate the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Alucard6336]

Btw block that jayg guy, seems like he missed a few doses on his pills.

Beautiful poem, I understand it perfectly. Great work!

[A.K.F]

Thanks for the review! While me and him certainly have conflicting opinions, I will leave his review as is, it is his opinion, no matter how much I may disagree with it.

[Alucard6336]

Btw I researched that guy. He's been banned off several writing forums and sites. His name online is Jay Greenstein. What can I say I'm petty with a lot of spare time, but I feel you have a great talent and I felt he had tainted this amazing work. Bye I don't really have friends and when I think I do they turn into Brutus from Julius C
Ceasar lol but yeah.......

[Alucard6336]

Heck I hate my autocorrect. Lol but yeah I'm going to friend you here it lets me see when you post new things and stuff so it'll give me quicker access to your awesome work :)

[JayG]

In this you're writing for yourself. Good therapy, and an outlet for angst, perhaps, but also so highly personal that to an outsider who isn't in your situation it reads as, "Oh s**t...I'm stuck in school and I think life sucks. Think about moving your reader emotionally by making them be you, and feel what you feel, not just hear your complaint.

[A.K.F]

Thanks for the review! You may be taking this piece a bit too literal. This is actually more of a mock of first world problems. People complain about pointless things because they lack understanding of true struggle. That was more of my intention with the poem.

[JayG]

The problem is that intent never makes it past the keyboard. So what you say must pass the internal filters of someone you will never meet, who has a different background, age group, and even gender biases you don't share.

For you, every line calls up memories, images and more, all living in your mind. But when someone else reads, every line calls up memories, images and more, all living in YOUR mind. And without you there to explain...

But if you can make them BECOME you and see the world as you do, the images and memories are in their mind, too.