I Can't

I just can't think like that.

 

We’ve all experienced heartache and disappointment.

We’ve all been abused or abandoned or ignored.

We’ve all been disadvantaged, disenfranchised, or disrespected.

But why do some so fiercely embrace the status of “victim”?

 

I don’t understand why folks cling to their tragedy.

Why do some display it prominently like a trophy?

It must be mentioned at every opportunity…

But why? We’ve all suffered and survived!

 

Some of the old songs we sing in church remind us...

We must suffer for Him, or we must endure horrible hardships...?

But those sad old songs have always confused me.

I have never suffered with God like I did without Him.

 

Life isn’t fair, it just isn’t. But it isn’t over either.

They say “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”...

I believe that and I see it every day.

We all have reason to thank God for life!

Author's Note

I knew this was going to be a slippery slope.
Everybody needs a hand up every now and then, a little help. I'm no exception. But what I don't understand is why some folks cling to their adversity. This was inspired by someone I met once who immediately pointed out to everyone she met that she was a survivor of spousal abuse from years before. Now I'm no proponent of spousal abuse, but maybe that's a conversation folks could save for later when making new acquaintances...
He later added:
I'm not sure what compelled me to post this, let alone write it. Well, in truth, I am sure... but that's another story.
I'm just afraid it sounds rather cold and uncaring on the first read. Hopefully what I was trying to convey comes through louder and clearer than what the piece seems to be on the surface.
Without compassion and caring for others, we are nothing at all. Yet we are expected to keep going, to not sit down in the face of adversity, ya know?

Reviews

[Prose-full]

i like this..sounds very genuine..
"I have never suffered with God like I did without Him"-----my absolute favorite line..
it is so very true..and i refuse to do anything without Him....
great write..very intriguing write...
before i submit,
"the old songs we sing in church remind us
We simply must suffer for Him� we must endure horrible hardship.
But those sad old songs have always confused me"----this was truly brilliant..

be well my brother of the pen..and faith..
be well..and thank you for reviewing my read "ve"
great to have run across your side of the cafe..

[LadyLove]

No death threat! I agree with your point of view. Pain happens...at some point you let it go and keep the good you have learned from each hurt as part of your life experiences and move on with them; Wisdom is gained for the self this way. I think what you had to say in this piece is important. No need to wonder how anyone would take it...If they read carefully they will get it. Gotta have a voice!Take care.

[Tara Jean Olson]

AK, you are a wise man!
I especially liked this line: 'I have never suffered with God like I did without Him.'

[WritefromtheHeart]

I think for some people, what they've encountered...or lperhaps endured is the better word, is to hard to overcome, at least for awhile.

Looking at the glass as half full is fairly easy for me-I've had a very blessed life full of a supportive, loving family--then a loving husband and a beautiful, intelligent daughter. But I can understand, in some small part, how it is more difficult for someone who hasn't had those things.

I'll just say I've had friends who have been through horrible things..and for them, it takes (or is still taking) a long time to overcome. I respect your thoughts here AK in the manner you've offered them ;-) I can, I have that luxury because of my blessed life..but I guess there will be those who can't, and for them I have to allow them their pain until they can overcome it.

Sorry--didn't mean to write a book--SEE you started a thought-provoking conversation and that's what this place should be about ;-)

[Rain]

This is a great piece. It's a touchy one, I'm sure you know. But, Jesus, I actually broke down and wrote a piece that thanked all the girls who broke my heart. It led to a 36 year loving marriage. We are like the news sometimes, " If it bleeds..It leads." Who can turn away from someone being molested, or beaten, or their pet dying. We are all human, but it becomes tedious. I will not delve too far into this, but being nailed to a cross is NOT the worst pain you can feel. It's done every year in the Philipines. Many are one trick ponies. They know nothing else to write about. You are the first to have the courage to speak to this subject. I commend you. My God, life is all about failure, disappointment, heartbreak. loneliness..not getting our way. It is also blended with beauty. I saw a 9 year old boy dying of cancer, and I thought " He will never know what a broken heart feels like" It makes a broken heart not seem so bad. Great provocative piece. I am very commpassionate, just mix it up a bit. Rain..

[Eagle Cruagh]

One reason that people play the victim is to get attention.
Another reason is to get sympathy, especially from the opposite sex.
I tried a, "poor me" poem once, just to see how it works and I got
'more great reviews than from anything, so perhaps the , "victim" personalities
have something going for them.
For a long time I was offended, yes outraged by the people who were always
a victim, then it occurred to me that maybe I just don`t feel deeply, from abuse, or
neglect, the same way these people do. Perhaps there are people who are terribly
hurt by things that you and I would never notice. The sad thing is, they never seem
to recover.
Whatever the problem with , "victim people, you have written an interesting treatise
on the subject and we are all better off for your observations.
RATE: 100%
---- Eagle Cruagh

[J]

Wow! My hat is off to you, D. I could spend an entire day here ~ if only responding to reviews already left. I know where you come from, so I know this was not an easy write for you. And I canna tell you how proud I am of your voice. Your strength, compassion, faith and abiding friendship has held me up so often and for so long now, that I know there is nothing cold or uncaring in your nature. I have BEEN that person you speak of ~ a soul in deperate need of love and forgiveness. Peace of mind!!! But, it is easier to wallow than to take responsibility and grow.up. I STILL need a swift kick now and again when I forget what blessings grace my life. ;-) And I have to say, it was only when I accepted that God was the only one who could give me what I needed, that I was able to let it all go. Not that issues don't continue to present themselves, because as you say, nothing is fair in this life. Perhaps our past doesn't "define" us so much as shape who we are ~ a fine line, maybe, but still a compelling distinction. I believe that it is not so much what we have suffered, but the choices we make about how to deal with it and go about life. But that takes a modicum of maturity, and I think maturing takes a back seat to surviving in some cases. All the reviews below are stunning in their honesty, and I respect each and every point of view. Please don't take this down. You have presented a wonderful topic for discussion. I'm pleased to see such a response!

You ever continue to grow in your writing. You are wonderful!

[TL Boehm]

ok, Tam accepts reality check from friend, and fellow writer - and does it without murmuring. Seriously, I was an abused child - but I didn't even KNOW that until I was a young adult - out on my own and I learned that the things done to me should not ever be done to a child. Most of my friends had it just as bad, or worse than me - so I thought I was normal. Maybe that's a good thing in the long run. I know I am ok now, relatively normal - and I know my parents just didn't know any better. Ultimately - I believe we have to accept accountability for our lives....I still get whiney but I know I am blessed on so many levels. A job, a husband - two boys the trappings of normalcy. No longer abused - and not an abuser....it stopped with me. So - I find your poem to be a gentle nudge - to remind me to look up. well done.

[Lorraine Pearson]

"The what doesn't kill us will make us stronger" statement was once a GREAT a-ha for me...and then one day it dawned on me..."NO DUH" if we aren't dead, we survive it...therefore its only obvious it will strengthen us...HERE'S YOUR SIGN! I have been a victim of having the rug pulled out from underneath me time and again...and just when I would think it safe to step back onto the rug....out it would be pulled.

I like this write very much...I find no offense in it, as I find it speaks volumes to the soul that is healing/healed. Those in the transition phase, trying to let go of pain, and grasp on to something more tangible, may find it a "tough love" but enlightening type of read.

Regardless, I think you speak a lot of truth here, and there are some definate jewels to be taken from this read! Thank you.
~Lorraiyne

[An Ordinary Woman]

Agreed, Ak.

I used to get frustrated when told "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" but that was well before I learned I am not defined by my past. I think some ppl like to talk about it because they need closure and others may simply want pity, not sure. Personally, I love the idea of not being defined by my past. Yay!

Excellent writing!

[Emily B]

If you've struggled out of the darkness why would you willingly re-live it? You make a good point. If you make it through the darkness spend your time sharing the Light.