The Shoes of My Life

A friend asked me to write a brief autobiography. I thought about it for a while and came up with this. Note the chubby little kid with the new Jack Purcells, circa 1962.

 

 

Jack Purcells

The first shoes I remember were my Converse Jack Purcells. They were low top sneakers made of black canvas with a white rubber toe and a single black horizontal stripe across the front. Very distinctive shoes and everyone in school had them. I still recall testing each new pair by running in tight circles at great speed on our gravel driveway. I thought the traction was magnificent and I was always impressed with each new pair. I was eight or nine years old and life was good. My mom and dad hadn’t divorced yet and brother and sister still lived at home. We were a family and everything still seemed normal. Oh sure, the screaming and yelling at night had started by then, but I would usually fall asleep with the pillow over my head. And the next day would be pretty peaceful until dad got home from work. My parents divorced near the end of this period.

 

 

Suede Cowboy Boots

Next were the rough suede square-toed cowboy boots we all wore in Junior High. All my friends had them and we wore them with great confidence. I had discovered girls but my bashfulness prevented me from having any real girlfriends. I did enjoy friendships with several girls but they all had older boyfriends. The girls I liked always had older boyfriends. Kris Johnson, Allison Cramer, Janet Gentry. And my truest love, Connie Kidder. I knew all these girls for years but despite my best efforts and my suede boots I was never more than a friend to them. It was during those years I began to close in. My brother was three years older and I was always the tag along with his crowd.

 

Penny Loafers

Penny Loafers were popular during my High School years and I always kept my pennies shiny and new. I was proud of my loafers because they signaled an older and more mature look. I had a car by then, actually a couple of nice cars during those years. A couple of girlfriends as well but these relationships were turbulent and awkward. I didn’t know how to behave or what to say. It was always so much easier to just work on my car. I had auto shop for half a day during my junior and senior years so I didn’t have to spend much time at school. After school each day I went directly to work at the local gas station. I still lived at home but I was nearly independent. I much preferred to be alone with my car.

 

Wellington Work Boots

After I graduated High School I went to welding school in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Slip on leather boots were the footwear of choice throughout my career as a welder. No laces to burn or melt from the sparks and I could get them off quickly if hot slag ever dropped down inside them. During these years I moved around quite a bit chasing construction jobs. I married at age 18 and that relationship was a twelve-year disaster.

I did come to know God during those years though so all was not lost.

At last I could no longer bear the relationship so I initiated the disillusionment process. That only took a few days. She never even bothered to show up at the hearing. I gave her everything except one beautiful painting I bought on vacation in Hawaii one year. She desperately tried to take that painting too but I refused to give in.

 

Soon after that relationship ended I “discovered” a lady I had known for years. She had been divorced (abandoned with her two kids) the previous year. Oddly enough she was one of the few supportive friends I had even though we were not close. It’s funny, she was a paralegal and she had notarized my court papers for me ending my first marriage. Many still believe the two of us were having an affair but it simply wasn’t the case.

Shortly after my divorce we went on a one-day business trip with two other friends. Through a combination of reasons including the carsickness and poor night vision of the lady who owned the car, my friend and I ended up sitting in the rear seat of the car on the ride home. It was a stunning night and we had all had such a good time together that day, just we four friends. No romance, no agenda, just friends. As we drove past a place called Summit Lake the Northern Lights were out in a way I had never seen them before. The pinks and greens and reds were so brilliant it made the snow-covered mountains on either side of the highway glow. A favorite music cassette was playing on the stereo and I was simply overcome by all that I had been through the previous weeks in terms of the divorce and the end of a significant period of my life. As I listened to the music and watched the Northern Lights dance across the sky I began to weep like a child. It was all finally coming out. As I wept my friend reached over and touched my hand to reassure me. She knew what I had been through. When she touched my hand I involuntarily put my other hand on hers and we both cried together. We held hands the rest of the trip home as we both knew something remarkable had just happened. Six months later we married.

 

Tennis Shoes

I now wear tennis shoes most of the time at work and at home. I retired from welding and transitioned into quality control. Over the years I’ve worked my way up through the ranks and I now manage the QC department for the company I work for. We do industrial construction and maintenance for a major oil company on Alaska’s North Slope (not the one that can't keep it's oil inside the pipes). The conditions are good, the money is good, but working away from home takes a toll.

Converse still makes Jack Purcells and last summer I bought another pair after all these years. They are not as comfortable as I remember them, modern sneakers have air bladders and gel insoles and cushioned arches and flashing lights. But my new Jack Purcells still look exactly the same as they did back then and I like that.

 

Whenever I put them on now I think of that shy little boy... there were so many times I wasn't sure he would make it. But he always looks up at me, confidently smiles his trust, and rides off on his bike to meet his remarkable future.

 

 

Reviews

[J]

A wonderful metaphor to pagemark defining periods in life ~ with the shoes you literally walked in. Each pair assigned its own story of painful growth .... you defining the shoes/the shoes speaking to different aspects of your personality, perhaps. Most significant to me, as each pair signals moving on to another phase of life, you ultimately come back to the Converse, honoring the little guy ~ understanding and loving him.

I love the picture of you ripping around in circles in those shoes. And now the grown man, tying those laces in favor of designer comfort because they are part of you ......... more at a badge of survival, maybe. I must say, the last paragraph made me cry. Perfect ending......

An extraordinary write, D. A vulnerable voice here. Thank you so much for sharing this part of you. I adore it.

j

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

i always wanted a pair of those very converse... but they didnt look right on my feet... i have chubby little feet -- some would say they resemble barney rubbles... oddly enough i found comfort in the very similar vans canvas sneaker... oh how i loved them... i still have a pair from 1992 in my closet i just cant seem to give them up...

great story... love the full circle of it too...

[Sara Muschweck]

This was so lovely, seeing the child grow and change with his shoes. Your story is so touching, and wonderful. You work in an amazing place, found the love of your life, and truly grew into a wonderful man with each change in your life. (I too know the love of the converse sneaker) Growing up in the 80's I had a pair of bright pink ones. Telling my children about my shoes for years, my oldest daughter bought me a pair for my 33rd birthday. They live with honor in my closet. Your story gave such a wonderful look at who you are. I had tears of joy at the end, seeing the young boy inside of the man as he put on the "Jack Purcells" again. To bring such emotion from the reader is an amazing thing, and you have done that wonderfully.

[Martin S]

Dale,
Just got back from working OT and decided to check the cafe for the first time in 3 months and read this peace. Thanks for having the courage to share your life in a Forest Gumpest shoeology. How much is everything emptyness without the true love that only God can provide? I only pray that you do not continue to suffer from the decision you regreted from your past mairrage. I would think that God was in control of that also and the emotional energy you would have put into that relationship is channeled into other areas that inrich the life of others. It's a pleasure working and sharring writtings with you. Per message I got form Kelly Burris I no longer rate writtings. Who am I to put a linear measurement on an abstract expression from within.

[Tom G]

An imaginative presentation of your bio allowing us to follow your footprints in time, through shoes and boots. One can only can only suspect what lies within the spaces between those laces. Thanks for the creative sharing. TomG.