Waiting For Yourself

Written for two fellow Cafe writers. Both are Pagemasters, both are referenced specifically, both have offered such generous reviews. That's them at the corner table in the back...

 

 

 

 

I’ve never thought much about it… forgive me.

But the secret history and the bare feet of you

opened my eyes and my heart to a bit of understanding.

I guess I’ve been afraid to ask,

never confident in myself enough to risk knowing.

 

Oh sure, I’ve known others who have shared the challenges

but who was I to ask?

What help could I offer? None really.

Except maybe caring. And some of the compassion

that is getting harder and harder to find in this world.

 

I’ve always known you.

I’ve wondered at and about you.

How must it feel to wait? To hope for normalcy to return?

To wait for yourself to come home?

I can’t imagine… and I’m appalled that I never asked.

 

But I can offer this… finally. There is hope!

That I learned elsewhere while staying busy avoiding you.

In fact, I know there’s more for you than you might imagine.

Please accept my apologies for never asking…

And let me share what I’ve been shown.

 

 

Reviews

[Chiquita]

Very compassionate words. There is more than meets the eye to this. It is nice in a way you have left the motivation for this piece a mystery. It allows the words to adapt to suit the situations of others and cause them to think.

It makes me say "Hmmmmm" and wonder where I could have been more compassionate.

[None]

Interesting title and well written poem. It has some mystery to unravel, which adds to the intrigue of the poem. A great deal of emotion and caring for this person mentioned exists, from what I can tell. Your poem unfolds nicely. I like the way you wrote it as if you were talking to the person it's about. A great poem.

[Rain]

i agree with Rain. i like the questions. It might be even better if you leave some of them unanswered in the poem. It's an interesting poem and i love the picture :) It seems very fitting for the piece.

[D.L. Simmons]

hmmm....i like the undertones of it and what you're trying to get across...
but it's pretty muddy.
as one of my favorite writing books puts it (Writing Without Teachers) "...writing is like letting the water flow through until it flows clear" or something to that effect.
i like what you're doing. I would work at making it crisper and more accessible.
"wait for yourself" might need to be reworded, but it's close to being there.

[Robert]

I really like this one. It would help to tighten it up just a bit, though.

[Rain]

This is just a great thought provoking write. Leaving questions that only make the piece more powerful. I loved it, as well as the picture. Rain

[rachel D]

i'm honored by this and you need not apologize but if it is forgiveness that you seek then absolute forgiveness is what i shall give. no questions asked.

this was beautiful. i'm curious as to which piece of mine inspired you? there is hope indeed, things beyond my wildest dreams. thanks for reminding me.

"I've always known of you.
I've wondered at and about you.
How must it feel to hope for normalcy?
To wait for yourself to come home?"

i think this is what hit home with me most.- to come home, to yearn for normalcy.......
wow, i'm still in awe of this piece.
thank you for sharing and that picture above is PHENOMENAL!
u truly are a specially unique one my friend.
-rachel d-

[J]

perhaps you've not a clue what this means to the "bare feet" [i love you did that] of me waiting ...... that the bare soul of you here not only chose to look, yet not judge, the cause and effect ..... but apologize for not?

you are an enigma beyond ..... you are a gift i dare not question lest the world take you back.

[J.P. Bristow]

I wish I knew more about this as I feel like an outsider looking in......I feel the intention strongly but like music from another room I am distanced.....cannot quite hear the words........I do not fully fathom the depth of your meaning......and that is nothing but my loss.