Not sure!

why do i write?

Not sure!

I am not sure...

If I write to define, describe, identify or to justify myself

To break the deep silence that holds my feelings

Or to break the shackles of some unknown me

That rides in my shadow, reflection or thoughts

Or to set me free from life, half alive and breathing

Trapped beneath a boulder of my regrets, pain and defeat

If I write, to forgive myself from the misdeeds of my past

Or to escape from the clutches of my miserable moments

Standing inside the confession box of my soul

To lessen the burden of my guilt, fear, shame that haunts me

Pleading in front of the judge, my conscience, seeking mercy

If I write, for the body that serves me like a devoted wife

Or for the mind that travels to a distant land of lost love

Or is it, for the shadow of a stranger I perceived

Waiting for me with open arms outside my door

If I write, to undress myself or to unclothe you, my life

As we stand nude and bare in front of each other

Dazzled, baffled and horrified like those teenage lovers

And my writings seem to be the heap of clothes shed for us

To make love and cover ourselves and to walk innocently

Infidelity, escapism, selfishness they say is unchaste

If it is so, let me be uncertain and cheat myself

Let me be unsure again and again and again!

 

 

 

Author's Note

fine