You Will Never

I like writing in threes.

You'll find love,

so they said.

And we did,

or so I 

thought we did.

You said that

you loved me,

but then you

took it back.

And too late

you came begging

for another chance.

But you tried 

much too late,

after I rinsed 

my soul from

the dirty feelings

you gave me.

Not the good

kind of dirty

either; the gross

skin crawling feeling

where you feel 

ashamed of yourself.

And you’ll never

truly understand

how I hated

myself for forgiving 

you over again

when you promised

you had changed.

But you hadn’t

really changed, despite 

your best efforts 

to prove otherwise.

So you'll never

understand how awful

you made me

feel about myself. 

And you'll never

understand how you 

made me stop 

loving myself - if 

I even did.

You took that

away from me

before I could

find out myself. 

You took away

every ounce or 

shred of confidence.

You gave me 

trust issues instead.

And made me

doubt my worth 

as a person.

Now no matter

what I hear

or how many

compliments I receive,

I will never 

be able to

fully believe them.

You will never 

truly understand how 

and maybe I 

won’t either but 

you made me 

like this and

I hate you

for doing that

to me when

all I did

was teach you

what love was.