Two Other Intersections..by Michael

Another Saturday evening at my girlfriend's apartment on the fourth floor. The borough was Brooklyn, her building being one in the Marlboro Projects. It was time to leave and as usual I pressed the elevator button to go down. At that instant there was a change of mind as I didn't want to wait, so I took the staircase instead. That was the fork in the road of a choice which leads to the following circumstances...My usual twenty minute drive home in my parents car was along Ave S. I was approaching the familiar cross street Macdonald Ave, where an overhead train platform ran its course above. I clearly had the green light and proceeded at the normal speed my car is used to going there. Just under that intersection I heard a loud crash as my car spun around with the sound of shattering glass in my ears. My memory at that moment was of me tightly gripping the steering wheel, seeing my glasses fly off my face in front of me, then coming to a stop with the sound of another crash as I hit a parked car. Something warm enveloped me during those brief seconds which played out in slow motion. The next thing I remembered was a tapping on my drivers side window by a uniformed policeman. The right side of the car was crunched in within an inch of where I was sitting. I got out with no injuries and was of clear mind as if nothing had happened. Beer cans were found in the car that collided with me which was indicated in the police report. Also two witnesses confirmed that I had the green light and the cross street was red. The driver was instantly killed, but his daughter who was in the back seat had no injuries whatsoever. Not too long after I broke up with my girlfriend, I got a phone call from that passenger in the back seat of the other car. We met in person for the first time as she described how she left her former boyfriends apartment from the fourth floor and decided to take the stairs instead of the usual elevator. Something warm enveloped her also during those brief seconds which played out in slow motion also. The limo driver disappeared from sight after driving us to our wedding reception. He had another assignment as an Angel for two other intersections...

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Reviews

[MFrano1]

This is good. It's so peaceful, and the memory of the crash itself is oddly calm. It creates an atmosphere for the reader that is enjoyable, and hard to obtain as the first part does concern a crash. I like how you become hopeful that he is able to pick up the pieces of his life as you read on, and then exactly that happens, without any drama to derive from that moment. It's a great piece, though I would maybe add a bit more detail in the end? It jumps from one time period right to the next, and then on to the next, in the span of a few sentences. It is kind of disorienting, because you read one sentence and then the next. Whenever you read that second sentence you expect it to be during the same time frame but it's not. Maybe you should split up the sentences that aren't on the same day if you don't want to add details?

[Michael Reisman]

Thank you for enjoying this story. It actually happened to me back in the early 70's.

[Delmar Cooper]

The languor of the passive voice lulls the reader into the past tense dream as things happening to people swirl around in an unbroken block of text. The unit of thought no longer becomes the paragraph, but the entirety, and the reader gorges on the whole rather than merely nibbling at bits and pieces. The angel so provident! Who would have thought to have the hand of God, via the agency of His expedient angel, descend at the appropriate moment to rescue the characters from a loveless existence and the reader from a bland and languid ending.

[Michael Reisman]

Thanks for enjoying it.

[Delmar Cooper]

You betcha, keep em' coming.