To Be Served..by Michael
A Story by Michael Reisman
Stephanie went on vacation for two weeks. A summer resort was
booked in the month June. The forty one year old liked the place as the food was
great and there was plenty of activities to participate in. There was a game
room that she walked into for the first time. Something there that hasn't been
seen or played by her in over twenty years. It brought back some favorite young
adult memories. A green table with a net in the middle and two small rackets
sitting on the edge at both sides. A ping pong ball resting under one of the
rackets just waiting to be served. Stephanie was very good at the game way back
when as she smiled at those fond thoughts. Her day dreaming episode was
interrupted when a voice suddenly said, "want to play a game?" She turned around
as Steven introduced himself. He won two out of the four games they played so
they were even and perfectly matched at their former young adult life. The
remaining one week was spent together as they enjoyed each others company. Both
laughed out loud as each found out it used to be their favorite game. A twenty
minute drive separated them from each other, so the convenience of their dating
was made quite easily. Two years later the now married couple owned a new home
together. In the basement their was a bar and along with a green table that had
a net in the middle, with two small rackets sitting on the edge at both sides. A
ping pong ball resting under one of the rackets just waiting to be
served...Maybe a two week stay and a game room had something to do with it. Case
in point in a short love story about Stephanie and Steven, where romantic trails
takes us to where we need to go to...
© 2014 Michael Reisman
Author's Note
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See my 17 published books of short stories on my web site www.michaelreisman.net
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Reviews
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First and foremost, I recommend that you get rid of the block formatting as it will scare a lot of readers off. It's much harder to follow than good spacing.
The story itself lacks a lot of detail. You create two characters and we learn absolutely nothing about them other than they enjoy playing the same game.
The characters themselves are very stiff and static. It seems they exist simply to exist and don't really have any personality or motive.
The premise for the story itself isn't bad, but needs to be drastically fleshed out. It seems more like I am reading notes for a story the author wishes to create.
In the end, the premise is good, but the is fatally hindered by the lack of detail and character development.
Posted 10 Years Ago
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Added on August 31, 2014
Last Updated on September 3, 2014
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