It Needs To Go To...a poem by Michael

Faces from the past fade over time, yet it's memory remains

Intact. Imprinted on the soul for possible future reference.

So unexpected circumstances arise, where two may

Be at the same place, at the same time. Two souls send

A message to the heart, then the brain,

Where a former love from so long ago smiles with a

Familiar twinkle in their eye. Life continues where it left off

As maybe now the time is right. Our path will finally have

The destination it needs to go to...

 

 

 

[email protected]

Author's Note

See my 16 published books of short stories on my web site www.michaelreisman.net

Reviews

[pletta]

Alright, I have just a few things here. First, "it's" should be its. Only use an apostrophe on "its" when you can say "it is." It seems that you are trying to use sentences in the classically correct sense, at least as far as having a subject and predicate. This being the case, your second sentence is a subordinate clause of the first sentence and shouldn't be a sentence at all. "Where a former love from so long ago smiles with a Familiar twinkle in [their] eye," contains a subject disagreement. "a former love" is singular so their should either be his, her, or its. Also, at least on the semi-technical but a little style-wise side, "The destination it needs to go to..." reads pretty roughly. Put simply, this is redundant and clunky. I would get rid of the "to go to...," and just leave it as the destination it needs.

I hope this doesn't seem harsh. I'm new to the site so i'm not exactly sure on reviewing policies but I was always told to review ruthlessly or the review would be useless as a tool for improvement.

[Michael Reisman]

Enjoying a poem or a story is not your way of thinking. Just correcting grammer. I bet you like the shallow end of a pool.