Love Past Tense

Keep this poem in your pocket
Or list if that's what you want to call it
This is what I learned while I loved you
Yes, love past tense
I am no Pudge from Looking for Alaska
Who will say "I love him present tense"
When you pass away in what I hope is 70 years
Here is what I learned when I loved you
1.) Depression runs its course different from person to person
2.) Insomnia - you're lucky you sleep too much rather than too little
I need to remember to tell my parents not to worry when I fall asleep at 7 in the evening
3.) Self harm isn't always a razorblade meeting skin - sometimes it's a match meeting skin
4.) Say "I love you"  as much as you want, your lover will still have an illness
5.) No matter how many poems you write about them, it won't be any easier to forget

I no longer have butterflies for you
I have a fierce fire
All my love now belongs to a man
Who's shyness matches mine
Who hides behind glasses
His love for music runs as deep as mine
I could answer his smile with mine
And chase his laughter with mine
Until death do us part
He is happy as the sun shines
And boy could it shine from his smile