once more

four paths

I am in hate with you, crossroads.

I am day-lorn, eve-worn, weary with shearing strain.

Heartbeats follow footfalls’ faint outline on frosted leaves –

I thought Autumn breathed slowly.

They fork as darting tongues, serpentine and sinister and choiceless:

1.      The First, the only (I once thought), whose heady venom cracks my veins

2.      The Archangel, whose fiery sword slays my daily dragons and slits my throat

3.      The Disciple, whose honeyed tongue spins sweetest songs of transient joy

4.      The Pseudo-God, whose indecision squeezes reason from my maddened brain

I am in hate with you, crossroads,

whose coils clutch, incisors strike and poisons paralyze.

I am here, star-born, dusk-shorn, dying with birthing pain.

Footfalls follow heartbeats’ cry into black-flavored hollows –

I am breathing like Winter:

once more  

Reviews

[NicNac]

Wow, what a great piece. I'm not familiar enough with different forms of poetry to know if you're following a specific one or creating your own, but either way the effect is powerful. The repetition of the form and reorganizing of the words from before the "list" to after it makes the reader stop and actually think about what they're reading.

I've never seen a numbered list in a poem, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. However, since you have such a clear structure throughout, it's not jarring like it could be in other cases. But I wonder if it might be better with dashes instead of numbers?

Either way, great work, thanks for sharing.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Emily,

As always, Emily, the writing is wonderful.

Ah, decision time, heh? Damnable problem, that. So now there are alternatives to the one path. Good. Still, which one? Interesting attributes to the various paths as well. I hate indecision even from a Pseudo-God. Not the Disciple either. There is usually little merit in a honeyed tongue. One of the first two, but remember to remain your own person no matter what path you traverse.

Interesting. A time for growth. A time for unexpected events. World-up-turning. Be careful as you travel down the road.

Best regards,

Rick