My Scarlet Letter

A reflection about how I let my grades run my life.

I really couldn’t tell you why

I wear this crimson badge of mine.

At least, not in few words,

but my life is trying, so I’ll try.

It’s ridiculous I think,

to be so obsessed with perfection.

That little red mark on a page – three lines,

that’s all – it governs all I do, it drives me,

drives me… in(to) sanity.

The world’s out there, somewhere, ahead of me.

Everyone is ahead of me; they run and I strain my eyes

to see the second-to-last-place loser

whose lot will be greater than mine.

But that crimson mark cuts through the green smog of envy

and sews itself onto my breast in flashy gold thread.

It's my mark, my curse, my goal.

Somehow, I trust those three red lines

to blast me up with the frontrunners,

to shape my future,

to unlock doors to the hallowed halls of Victory,

where the real work begins.

 

But...

 

I still couldn't tell you

why I wear this damn crimson badge of mine.

 

Yet here I am, like Faustus, selling my soul

for a scarlet letter.

Hester Prynne would be ashamed.

 

Author's Note

I'm not totally happy with this yet. It feels... dry. Any suggestions?

Reviews

[Awake.&.Unafraid]

I like the feeling and story behind this poem. I can relate to 'letting grades run your life,' for I am always very concious of my marks and upset when I don't do well. I do agree with you that it is a little dry, but this poem has a lot of potential to go places. Perhaps if you expanded on each of the ideas (Thinking that people are ahead of you, the obsession with those 3 little lines, the opportunities they will give you) then you could see what parts of each idea you want to keep, and what seems needless. Try just free-associating a little with the words, and I'm sure when you come back to the poem you will be able to add some fresh new ideas.

The idea behind this is sharp and the writing is truthful; a little fine-tuning will turn this poem into a masterpeice, I know it!

Good luck!

[[untitled]]

Wow! I really like this write,
I still couldn't tell you

why I wear this damn crimson badge of mine.
Yet here I am, like Faustus, selling my soul
for a scarlet letter.
Hester Prynne would be ashamed.

I like these lines, i can feel the depth and emotion in this.

[Donald Meikle]

It reads frantic as it's meant to. dry? How in hell could the blooming drive of youth be dry?

[JudyC]

I can relate! I like the varying pace of the poem; it seems to speed up along with your racing thoughts when you put more words into each line beginning at "Everyone is ahead of me". The last line brings the whole thing back to the title and the original idea. It doesn't feel dry to me at all.

[R J Askew]

Of course you'rn not happy! You are a perfectionist, self-confessed! But the poem is a great little insight into a driven mind. I like it. I never know what to make of academic success. I feel really, really suspicious about academic it. This is in part envy. I rather like those who are just so damned naturally talented and intelligent they do not need to work hard, especially if -- as if often so -- they are good at sport, look cute, and are actually pleasant and happy people. Damn! I don't like those with machine like photographic minds who can read Lord of the Rings in an afternoon. Bah! But what of those who work hard? Being myself lazy by nature, I resort to sophistry ... it's how you deal with setbacks that counts ... 10 percent imperfection is vital for balance ... failure is interesting ... to seek perfection is the way to disappointment ... Having said that I wish my own kids were more like you than like me.

[Gandré]

Perhaps we weren't taught to look differently and seek for something else? I wrote on this topic my last essays or even my 4 works posted now here on WC. I like how you packed the meaning into deep metaphors with reference to literature Faustus. When we want to live with wolfs we need to howl with them. Great work!! Thanks for reading my small text "Who is looking and what for", much appreciated.

[Gandré]

Perhaps we weren't taught to look differently and seek for something else? I wrote on this topic my last essays or even my 4 works posted now here on WC. I like how you packed the meaning into deep metaphors with reference to literature Faustus. When we want to live with wolfs we need to howl with them. Great work!! Thanks for reading my small text "Who is looking and what for", much appreciated.

[Last Lying Look]

I liked this. It was really great. I'm like this to a certain extent.
I enjoyed the whole topic of achievement anxiety.
Great work!

Society teaches us to measure our worth by the clothes we wear, the way we look, our grades, our jobs, pour possessions, our achievements. We're all actually worth so much more than we think.

-Elissa :)