Concentration

In which poor Tam is pushed to his last nerve.

 

“Cialis L’vat!” Tam shrieked. It was incredibly rare for any fairy to speak words in Faian, the ancient fairy language usually reserved for rituals, mass spells and curses, out of the context of their normal spells, and it was an occurrence especially rare for Tam in particular – he had always disliked Faian and complained about the rigorous hours he was forced to study it. Nevertheless, the situation was dire enough that he could find no other words to express his rage, terror and confusion, so he drew from Faian the first words that his brain thrust to him. Fortunately Tam’s use of the language caught Cypress surprise, so much so that he leaned back from the window and turned around, facing his friend with wide, confused eyes.

                “Tam!” He spluttered in surprise, stepping away from the balcony and back into the room, holding his hands up defensively. “It’s not what you—”

                But before Cypress could get out the “think,” Tam had tackled him to the floor, his knees digging into the young prince’s chest.

                “We’re going home!” Tam howled, angry tears blossoming from the corners of his eyes and running in hot rivulets down his cheeks. “Ever since we came here you’ve been throwing yourself into mess after mess and I’m not going to have you back out on me now!” The gold-haired fairy was so consumed by fury that at once he began raining open-handed blows on Cypress’ face – the first of which the prince couldn’t manage to block in time with his arms – sobbing as he did so. “How could you Cypress?” Tam shouted hysterically. “How could you?”

                “Tam! Tam!” Cypress yelled, trying desperately to get a word in edgewise while still fending off Tam’s violent hands with his arms. Fortunately for Cypress, in his rage Tam was highly inaccurate with his blows, but enough of them landed to make the prince worry about his well-being. Finally he was able to catch Tam’s fiercely kinetic hands by the wrists. “Listen to me!” He shouted over Tam’s wails, and something in the intensity of his voice must have finally gotten through. Tam sat there, still on Cypress’s chest and with no obvious intentions of getting up in case Cypress were to make a break back to the window, sniffling and looking at his friend through tear blurred eyes.

                “What?” Tam asked irritably. “Are you going to say that you’ve changed your mind now, because if you do…”

                “Listen!” Cypress bellowed, with power in his voice rarely heard by anyone in the court, let alone by Tam. “Tam I command you to listen. And to get off me; I can hardly breathe like this.”

                “Not until you tell me what you were doing ready to jump out that window!” Tam retorted stubbornly, although he did oblige Cypress a little by squatting over him rather than sitting on him.

                “Thank you. Now look. This may sound crazy but… I think I’ve discovered my concentration.”

                For a moment Tam was quiet. “Oh.” He responded. “Well I still don’t see what that has to do with—”

                “Ah!” Cypress let go of Tam’s wrists, judging that since his friend was at least listening to him now he would’ve thought through hurting his prince, and raised his index finger to indicate his request for Tam’s silence.

Tam grudgingly shut his mouth and waited for Cypress to continue.

“Do you see that book on the table over there?” Cypress asked, pointing to the book whose pages were now fully fluttering in the breeze.

“Yes.” Tam answered, eyeing his prince suspiciously.

“It’s a book about the metaphysics of fairies’ wings. Interesting stuff, actually”

“Get to the point, Cypress!”

“All right, all right. Goodness. Anyway, remember how a few nights ago I got outside somehow but without any knowledge of how I got there?”

“How could I forget? It saved your life.”

“Yes, but aside from all that, I couldn’t stop thinking about how I got out there. I honestly don’t remember going downstairs and out the door, and even if I had, if I’d used the main stairs I would’ve either run into you and Cleven or I would’ve ended up close enough to the dining hall that I wouldn’t have been able to ignore the noise. It didn’t make any sense! But last night… last night I remembered how the window had been opened. Remember? You were there when Tasmine closed it and reprimanded me for leaving it open.”

“Yes, and then you accused me of fouling up your Keeper assignment and ordered me out of your room.” Tam remembered bitterly.

“You’re getting off the subject.” Cypress protested crossly. “Listen why don’t you! This is important!”

“Yes, yes…” Tam grumbled. “Go on.”

“When I wracked my brain enough, I realized that I did have a memory of opening the window and being on the balcony for a while, just enjoying the air. And then, and this is vague, I remembered thinking how nice it would be to be down on the grounds, stretching my legs and being outside. And then… there are a few moments that I can’t quite remember so clearly, but all of a sudden, that’s where I was! Out on the grounds! I didn’t think to question it at all really, at least not at first. I just walked around enjoying being outside until I heard Cleven howling and decided to come back.

“So… wait. What are you saying, Cypress? Are you saying that you were so desperate to be out on the grounds that you jumped out the window and then somehow miraculously survived that fall without a scratch or any memory of it?” Tam asked skeptically, regarding Cypress as if he was mad.

“No you idiot! Haven’t you been listening at all? I think I flew down from the balcony.” At this, Cypress couldn’t help but wave his hands a little in excitement. “I flew! I got my wings back! Just for an instant, mind you, but an instant was long enough to get me from the balcony to the grounds. What’s strange is that I don’t remember it very clearly. That’s what the book is for.”

“What did you say that it was about? Meta-something?”

“The metaphysics of fairies’ wings.” Cypress repeated patiently. “It means the general underpinning. The structure. But not the physical structure, per se. The metaphysical one. You know, the underlying magical properties that allow us to have wings in the first place. Think about it. Do you even know how wings work? We know that they filter our blood and everything, but the magical properties have to be metaphysical.”

“But having wings is physical.” Tam argued. Despite his earlier rage and confusion, he had allowed himself to become so intrigued by the argument that he had half-forgotten why he was angry at Cypress in the first place. His tears had long since dried, and he now reluctantly let Cypress get up. “ We can’t fly without them. And even if a human did have wings, they wouldn’t be able to fly either since they don’t have the build for it. They’re bones aren’t as light as ours.”

“But it’s not just physics that keeps us flying even when we do have our wings. It’s the magical properties in the wings that let us do it. All of our structure and everything…. that only helps. It’s the magic that does it in the end. It’s all in the book.” Cypress said, dusting himself off and leading Tam over to the bed and the chair next to it. Cypress sat on the bed and Tam quickly took his place in the chair, glancing at the book that was still open on the nightstand. As Tam looked though the pages, marveling over the diagrams and explanatory text, Cypress continued.

“I found it in the library this afternoon while Eliza, Fallin and I were hiding from Cleven. I didn’t have much time to look over it then, but when I came back I looked through it some more. Of course, in the book most of it is theory. But I really think it’s possible, Tam. How else would I have gotten down to the grounds without anyone noticing me or without my noticing anyone else, or what was going on at the time? This is the only way that makes any sense.”

“Sure, if by ‘makes sense’ you mean ‘is a load of horse dung.’ Honestly Cypress, how could you possibly think that this could work? You can’t just conjure working wings out of the air! It’s impossible!”

“Oh, and you think it’s more possible for me to have jumped out that window that night and not have been hurt?” Cypress challenged, obviously miffed. “Look at the author! Look at him!”

“We don’t know that you jumped out of that window.” Tam retorted but, rolling his eyes, he did as he was bid. The name on the book’s dusty spine immediately drew a gasp from him. “Caiaphas Crossvine?” He breathed.

Cypress nodded. “Duke Caiaphas Crossvine. A professor too, actually. And my great uncle on my mother’s side.”

“People in your family believed in this stuff?” Tam asked, awestruck.

The prince stuck out his lower lip in a very un-princely gesture of annoyance. “Of course! Why wouldn’t we? I’m not the only one in my family not to have discovered my concentration. In fact, my great uncle never found it either. Ever! It’s not talked about very much since he wasn’t exactly royalty and because he put his talents to uses other than magic, but he never found out what his concentration was. That’s why he wrote this book; he thought that it would be possible to have a concentration that was unlocked only without wings. You can’t very well have metaphysical wings if you have real ones instead, after all. He tried to get the Keepers to do the ritual on him just for the sake of science but they refused him, telling him it was too dangerous to do on a non-Keeper and things like that. He never knew. But he wrote about it, and that’s why I found this book – the name caught my eye.”

“How do you know all this about your great uncle?” Tam asked suspiciously. “You can’t possibly have paid that much attention to your family history.”

“I didn’t.” Cypress admitted. “I didn’t even know he existed until now, otherwise I probably would’ve been studying this stuff a long time ago. He wrote a little autobiography in the beginning and that’s how I found out so much about him. But Tam…” He looked pleadingly over at his friend. “But don’t you see? Don’t you see how it would be possible? This could be my concentration! This… this could be what I came here to do!”

In his heart of hearts, Tam had to admit that it was wonderful to see Cypress so enthusiastic and happy, especially considering that last time they talked he was so melancholy and furious. Even so, Cypress’ theory seemed incredibly unlikely. Metaphysical wings? Magic was powerful, but how could it possibly be that powerful? Then again, there was the question of how the prince had managed to get out of the castle without attracting anyone’s notice, and if he had somehow gone by way of he balcony, his lack of broken bones had to be explained. But still Tam remained unconvinced.

“Doesn’t that seem like a rather… well… useless concentration, though?” Tam asked. “Not to burst your bubble, Cy, but what good is it being able to fly sometimes even when you don’t have wings? It doesn’t seem very powerful to me, and you’re supposed to have the best blood of all of us.”

“I thought about that too.” Cypress confessed. “And I think there’s more about it in the book. Caiaphas theorized that the blood of the fairies that had that concentration was so strong that the magic in it exuded from them even without their wings. Like… an aura.”

“I see.” Tam reflected. “What would it do?”

“I’m not sure yet.” Cypress admitted. “I haven’t read that far yet. I just got so excited about the possibility of manifesting my own wings that I just read about that.”

“Well if you do have some sort of strange aura thing then I guess it’s worth researching.” Tam decided. “I’m sure Fallin is going to be intrigued by it, too, although it definitely changes the equation.” For a brief instant the thought crossed Tam’s mind that, provided that this theory had any truth to it at all, it might, in fact, be Cypress who was leveling Cleven’s moods and not Ellyra. He dismissed this thought quickly, however, thinking that it would be something best reflected on later.

“So wait a minute.” Tam queried, after giving the matter of metaphysics a little more silent thought. “You still haven’t explained to me how all of this ties in with your nearly killing yourself a few minutes ago. You weren’t… you weren’t really going to jump out the window,” Tam paused to eye his friend slowly and apprehensively, “were you?”

“No! Well… at least, not when you came in.” Cypress answered evasively, drumming his fingers nervously against the soft mattress of his bed.

“You were going to jump?!” Tam squealed. “Oh this is too much…”

“No! I… you don’t understand, Tam. I’m not stupid. I was concentrating. Trying to get the wings to come to me. I figured I would know when the time came and I was just building up my concentration when you burst in and yelled at me. Why did you use Faian, by the way? You hate Faian.”

“I don’t hate it.” Tam said begrudgingly. “I just don’t like studying it. It was the first thing that came to mind when I saw you.”

“You know what you said, right?” Cypress simpered a little. “It was rather harsh.”

“You deserved harsh.” Tam rebutted swiftly. “I thought you were going to kill yourself.”

“Well I wasn’t.” Cypress said gently. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. It was just so I could figure out my concentration.”

“I know Cy, but heavens above, couldn’t you at least have had some sort of a back up plan? What if you hadn’t gotten these… these metaphysical wing things and you’d fallen to your death? What then? I’ll tell you what then. Our kingdoms would’ve gone to war for sure since we would’ve had no heir and as a side note your father would probably have me executed for letting you die on my watch. Be reasonable Cy! A crazy fantasy of finding out your concentration is not worth risking your life for.”

“Maybe not to you.” Cypress retorted defensively, and then he exhaled slowly. “You don’t know what it’s like, Tam.”

“Oh here we go…” Tam cut him off with a groan. “ Now you listen to me, Cypress. No! Close your mouth! I listened to you and now it’s your turn to pay attention.” Tam took a deep breath and said the words that he’d been wanting to say for years. “With you, you’re always assuming I don’t know something. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to be royalty,’ ‘you don’t know what it’s like to not know what your concentration is’ ‘you don’t know what it’s like to have both parents constantly demanding things of you.’ Yeah. I know. I know I don’t know. I’m not you, Cy. I never was and I never will be. But you know what? That doesn’t really matter, does it? I do know that it’s hard on you, being royalty and not knowing your concentration and always having so many thing expected of you. I know there are days when you can’t handle that kind of pressure. Hells, I even know that anxious little expression that you get when you’re worried about something that your parents put into your head you should worry about. It’s different from all the others. So you’re right Cy, I don’t know what it’s like to be you. How could I? I’m not. But damn it all I do know you. And I say that that’s just as good. Don’t tell me what I don’t know, Cypress. I know more than you think.”

It took Cypress a few minutes to recover from this speech, and when he did he was not quite sure how to respond to it. The expression on Tam’s face was hard to read – Cypress guessed it was a mixture of pride and anxiety, but he couldn’t quite tell.

“I… guess you’re right.” Cypress admitted slowly, choosing his words carefully before his spoke them. “I suppose I just wanted… “ He exhaled quickly, crushing the breath from his lungs. “This is stupid, but for once I just wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to have a concentration and I guess I just got so focused on that that I… I…”

“Was willing to jump out a window and almost kill yourself for it?” Tam suggested helpfully, a sparkle of his old humor returning.

At this Cypress couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yes. Exactly.”

“Well don’t fret. You didn’t jump and you didn’t kill yourself, so for now all is well. But no more jumping out of windows, or even thinking about jumping out of windows. I’m not your better, but as your… your…” A wide mischievous grin spread across Tam’s face. “As your Keeper I command and implore you to stay away from that blasted balcony.”

Cypress laughed, a real laugh this time – clear and full-hearted. “Done, Keeper Tam.” He agreed, holding out his hand to shake on it, which they did. “Thank you for setting me straight.”

 “Good.” Tam’s head tilted to the side a little and the energetic glimmer returned to his eye. “What a funny joke this will be when we get back to the kingdom!” He mused. “Me, Tamarisk, the infamous mischief maker and irresponsible Mimic that’s always getting in everyone’s way has to play Keeper to Cypress, the model prince who always does everything right. This’ll have old Larch squirming in his seat when we tell ‘em that story.”

“Oh you never know. He might laugh at it like everyone else.”

“You’re assuming that Larch can laugh.” Tam pointed out. “That’s something I’ve never, ever seen, at least not when it’s not forced or sarcastic. I’m not even sure he can do it for real.”

“Well now you’re being a little unfair.” Protested the prince. “I’m sure he just doesn’t like you very much.”

“Not many do.” Tam concurred brightly. “Not that that’s ever stopped me!” He looked sincerely at his friend. “Seriously though, Cy. I want your good and solemn promise that you’ll stay away from any death-bringing situations. You’ve given me enough to worry about, what with getting sick and having Cleven after your blood.”

“I swear on my oath as a Keeper of the Right that I will no longer intentionally seek out danger, even though technically that’s what I’m supposed to be doing.” Cypress swore, raising his right hand. “And specifically I won’t jump out of any more windows.” He smirked. “At least, not without you and some ghosts there at the bottom holding a sheet to catch me.”

“Yes well you’re going to have to wait for that.” Tam told him warningly. “If you’re going to be experimenting with this wingless concentration stuff I’d rather you try to take off from the ground where it’s safe.” Tam pushed himself abruptly out of his seat. “But we can talk about all your crazy fantasies later. Right now there are people waiting for us downstairs. There’s plenty of food on the table and I’m starving.”

“Aren’t you always?” Cypress laughed, accepting Tam’s hand and was half lifted off the bed.

“Not recently, actually.” Tam corrected. “You probably haven’t noticed, but when we’re fighting I have a tendency not to think about food as much.”

“Why Tam, I’m flattered!” said Cypress. “I know how much your food means to you.” Dropping his new, happy spirits, he was serious for a moment. “I hope it hasn’t been too hard on you. I’m really sorry for what I said, Tam. I hope you know I didn’t mean any of it. It was out of line.”

“Yea, how the mighty have fallen!” Tam teased. “I’ll forgive you, your majesty. You’re lucky though. I don’t offer pardons to everyone.”

“Oh stop gloating.” Cypress enjoined, pushing open the door.

“As you command, my prince!” Tam returned with mock formality, bowing his way through the door.

“Oh be quiet.”

“Is that an order, your highness?”

“Yes.”

So the fairy prince and his self-proclaimed Keeper went, bickering, down the stairs to dinner.

Author's Note

Yeah, I know this chapter is short but the beginning of the next chapter has to lead into something else, and I'd kind of rather it be short than long. I think this is actually different from all the other chapters since it's the only one that only focuses on two characters, instead of jumping around. I can't think of any specific questions to ask since I actually rather like this chapter.

Reviews

[Hannah!]

This was a great chapter. It was awesome to see Tam and Cypress finally make up--their fight had caused a lot of weirdness and tension that didn't seem to want to go away, but I'm hoping that it'll be gone now; it was interesting to see them so out of their element, in a sense, but it was really nice to see them bickering again. XD And what an idiot Cypress is. I can't say I completely blame him, but for serious, hanging out a window? Even if there WAS a good reason for said action, what a stupid, stupid thing for him to do.

I think this was a nice break from the rest of the story, too. There was that undercurrent of tension that never really got addressed, but there were so many other things going on that it wasn't important. I like that this chapter doesn't bounce around and that it focuses on something that needed to be taken care of, even if it's not exactly the edge-of-your-seat, omg-Cleven-is-trying-to-kill-Cypress kind of thing. I enjoyed it. I don't have much to say about it beyond that--you did a good job with it. ^_^