Autumn Naps about Dying

I woke with the words in my mouth
No god, no meaning, no nothing
I wasn't dying; I was death
 

A leaf that can barely remember
once moving through the roots
and the insides of the branches
 

Then briefly, the bright green expression
The hello of joy "Here I am!"
And then I fell
 

The colors were still in me, but I fell
I shivered in my dried veins repeating
I live I live I live I live

Closing my eyes at the ending world, listening
in darkness to the murmurs of the others
As they fell: we live we live

A piece pretending to belong
The organism of humanity
Ignoring death with eyes shining
 

My life was part of a bigger whole
one specific dying-- less tragic
no more than a cell of dry skin flaking 
 

The meaning in demeaning my worth:
I would be no more
than a leaf breaking from a twig
 

No more-- I will not be silent as I fall:
We die we die we die we die
I will scream until I can think of a word 
 

For the opposite of falling, for moving-up-toward
the above where the roots once were
I promise myself, I will find the word
 

Someday I will be as green as I once was.

 

Reviews

[raining]

It is as though at times your direction has made you. I say that as I have had some of these experiences of which you write. No-one is going to meet perfectly, there are no perfect poems which can do this. The very art of a poem....TS Eliot or Wallace Stevens or anyone else is always a trimming down of the wick so that the fire doesn't give off the soot that darkens the glass.

This poem takes something from me when I read it. Thank you. It brings me in to my own soul while seeing yours, the wick is trimmed so that not alot of the words are needed. "no god, no meaning,no nothing" I strong. It was good..... however would it work later in the poem better? It is one of those lines that has to be earned by the rest of the poem. (this isn't a real critical thing, I could very well be wrong). Sometimes I check my intro stanza.... because it is that one in the poem which is the "inspirational" idea-image-thought that I want to convey most. However I notice that what I think is best as an opening doesnt always convey best the readers perception of the poem. (?)

I offer critcisms as a fellow traveller. I think that at times we don't really get into the writing because we (all of us in the web group) do not want to offend. Anyway, this is a true poem. I is excellent the way it is. I want to keep reading what you write. Thanks.....raining

The search for belief:

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are true. In the end we will go back to the earth. The poem set-up and the repetition made the poem stronger. I like the complete poem. You made me think this evening. A excellent poem.
Coyote