Süße Traüme

Süße Traüme

A Poem by Aidan
"

What a mess. "Süße Traüme ", German for Sweet Dreams.

"
As darkness descends upon my dreams,
images of you dance around brilliant coils of light

My memories of you reflect as through stained glass,
framing my heart in a chapel,
with a heavy, heavy cross to bear.

The colors that shine through
dance,
shattered and faint

They filter through
the murky haze of my half formed thoughts,
taking time to
fully awaken.

© 2014 Aidan


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I really liked your second stanza, especially the lines "framing my heart in a chapel, with a heavy, heavy cross to bear. " Those lines really show that the speaker longs for this person. The lines about the stained glass conveys the idea of division. The remainder of the stanza depicts a feeling of isolation, a feeling that the speaker bears a heavy burden alone. Possibly the strain of trying to remember details about this person as they fade from memory? Well done with this piece.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Aidan

10 Years Ago

Thank you for the kind words! I appreciate you taking the time to read and critique.

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225 Views
1 Review
Added on December 13, 2014
Last Updated on December 31, 2014
Tags: Dreams, Poetry, Love, Longing, Sleep

Author

Aidan
Aidan

San Antonio , TX



About
English/Teaching Major that enjoys reading (and writing!) poetry, science fiction, and horror. Looking to keep a place where I can post writing and get some constructive feedback. Would love to hear y.. more..

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