Süße Traüme

Süße Traüme

A Poem by Aidan
"

What a mess. "Süße Traüme ", German for Sweet Dreams.

"
As darkness descends upon my dreams,
images of you dance around brilliant coils of light

My memories of you reflect as through stained glass,
framing my heart in a chapel,
with a heavy, heavy cross to bear.

The colors that shine through
dance,
shattered and faint

They filter through
the murky haze of my half formed thoughts,
taking time to
fully awaken.

© 2014 Aidan


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I really liked your second stanza, especially the lines "framing my heart in a chapel, with a heavy, heavy cross to bear. " Those lines really show that the speaker longs for this person. The lines about the stained glass conveys the idea of division. The remainder of the stanza depicts a feeling of isolation, a feeling that the speaker bears a heavy burden alone. Possibly the strain of trying to remember details about this person as they fade from memory? Well done with this piece.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Aidan

9 Years Ago

Thank you for the kind words! I appreciate you taking the time to read and critique.

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223 Views
1 Review
Added on December 13, 2014
Last Updated on December 31, 2014
Tags: Dreams, Poetry, Love, Longing, Sleep

Author

Aidan
Aidan

San Antonio , TX



About
English/Teaching Major that enjoys reading (and writing!) poetry, science fiction, and horror. Looking to keep a place where I can post writing and get some constructive feedback. Would love to hear y.. more..

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