With Everything There's Nothing

A spoiled brat I should be called
for I have everything that turns
little good girls rotten as ripe fruit
sitting untouched for days turns black and mealy.

Gizmos and gadgets line the shelves
of the handsome house my proper parents
worked hard to acquire. To ask is all
that's needed to receive grand gifts that make
other kids ill silly in their jealousy.

Dreamy dresses worth hundreds hang high
untouched in my crowded closet as pretty pearls
hide in black boxes hidden. Such a privileged life,
but it's only glamor to the unknowing eye.

I have everything, yet I have nothing.
Material items I care for not as they don't matter
for freedom lays a million miles away taunting
me as I sit alone hiding in my room.

To taste the sweet reward of hard work to earn
what is so freely taken in my fingers is what I need.
To be independent from the caged shelter that
I'm locked in like a pretty parrot is what I need.

So much expectations to fulfill, my head burns
with fire coursing through my veins like poison
pulling me into a rage as I try hard not to
disappoint, but everything I do turns wrong.

I lay bowing to the Mother I once so deeply adored,
but like most things she changed as I have changed.
Such weight bears on my shoulder, but try as I might
I'm stuck for the time being with a hunched back.

I have everything, yet I have nothing.
Each fault picked liked berries lays loathing me
on the dining table. I can hear the thoughts.
A peculiar little girl, anti-social with odd taste.

What will become of her? What greatness can she
possibly hold to bring her about a proper life?
What sort of life could music and art possibly bring?
No nonsense can be tolerated, we must make her decisions.

If the whole truth were known now I fear I'd be sent
to the asylum with all the misguided loonies,
the misunderstood, and the rest shunned away from
the cast of society's rusty colorless cage.

To break free from these mighty clutches holding
me back from a life to call my own I so dearly want.
Bound to a plan I am to follow a path craved before birth
as my brain was washed to believe in such falsities

as a god having this be my only path. I am
to believe that my true father lives high in the heavens
that I must worship his every will. To hell with that,
how can I possibly believe the word of men claiming lies?

Oh, and how my heart aches with deep desire as I have
found some happiness to keep me whole, but I am denied
as I am banned from even being his friend. Poison he is thought
as from those whose blood pumps through my unwilling veins.

I have everything, yet I have nothing.
To turn my back on the one I've fallen for so hard
would be to take a knife cutting out my heart
for the vultures to viciously devour.

Oh the ache could surely drive me to intensified insanity
for there's so much I wish to say, but just where could I begin?
Secrets bite like mites crawling in my skin as leeches
lay sucking away my blood, some things he only knows.

Such a difference one person can make that I'll never
be the same person everyone thought they used to know,
but a masquerading mask still hides this little girl from anyone
ever knowing as she appears the strong intelligent woman.

I'd possibly sprout wings to fly to the heavens
if my hand would so perfectly fit in his, but I'm just
an odd piece not fitting in his puzzle for he has
fallen so deeply in love with a woman who won't accept him.

Yet, I stay forcing a smile to give comfort as he tries
to win her over like a ram fighting for his mate
while I painfully watch clutching my bare chest to remember
to breathe. With this the river already streaming

from my face refuses to ever cease, but I am not sorry.
If I could go back in time I wouldn't stop my chance
meeting him, wouldn't change a thing. All I want is to tell him
everything burning me, and wish him the best as I'll always be here.

I have everything, yet I have nothing.
So much clogs the traffic in my mind that I'm lost
in the dingy darkness running hard panting in sync
with the beating of my heart as I try to find an escape.

This will all change, it must change, but for now
I must endure it all as it will either strengthen me
or break me to pieces. Too soon now it is, but one day
I will let everything be known and carve my own path.

I won't have anything, but I will have everything.