Personified Blues

A mysterious woman in a bar notes the discouragement of its patrons.

Written at Nation Book Association Writing Camp in 2003 - Published in Sounds of this House, copyright 2007. ((Note: I am not a big fan of writing poetry �" in fact, this was my first and only attempt. Please be gentle. :P))

Personified Blues

she stood behind the bar counter

consuming tragedy-

a man's failed relationship,

a woman's miscarriage,

a forgotten date in the corner

whose healing lay in sour beer

her name was whispered in smoky gatherings

feared, yet respected

as she stole fortune

manipulated lives

altered futures-

crushing some

should her draught prove fatal

she would wipe the counter

and smirk

when a customer

ordered with a sigh,

the discouragement feeding her

driving her forward

into arrogance

she rarely spoke

but when she did,

her voice was a haughty sneer-

people saw and heard her as many things:

the melancholy chime of ice

in a glass of the lonely date-

the smoldering

cigarette perched

in the fingers

of the discouraged man

whose relationship's end

meant solace in the bar-

the woman's gentle caress

as she rubbed her stomach

tears in eyes that struggled

with loss

the bartender smiled

at forsaken lives

and abandoned aspirations

the trudged willingly into the bar

where hapless victims sat

heads bowed

as she fed.

Reviews

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

I liked it, all to say, I wish you would write more poems!

[GTVile]

That was a really good idea. I really like what you did with personifying sorrow. Its pretty epic. You did a really good job of capturing the tragedies that most everyone is confronted with, and a pretty mutual coping mechanism. Great job.

[Reza Farahmand]

that's great!

[sammyj]

nice

[Christina May Shanaberg]

Nice first attempt; in fact, excellent! This was a very visual poem and by the end, I hated that sadistic mixologist.

[Antonio Valentino]

Very nice! You should consider writing more poetry, this was pretty amazing.

Thanks for sharing with us.
Antonio :)

[Tori Adams]

It was written very well for your first attempt at poetry! (as you wrote above)
I like your techniques as they are different than those of most other writers. This makes your writing a bit more unique and less boring :)